And so also we shall assert that our right actions are determined in the same way; and we shall no longer blame neighbor or wife or children as though they caused evils to befall us, being convinced that, unless we make up our mind that things are such, we do not act as though they were, but that whether we judge them to be so or not depends upon ourselves and not on anything outside us.
“True,” he said.
“It all went wrong!”
No, things don’t really go wrong, even as I might make the wrong choices about things.
“Why does the world have to be so unfair?”
I’m no longer sure the world is either fair or unfair at all, just that we have it in our power to make events beneficial or harmful to us, based upon our own estimation.
“That’s not how I intended it to happen!”
I had to hit rock bottom before I saw how arrogant it was to think that the circumstances should bow to my will.
My happiness or misery do not hinge upon the presence or absence of any conditions. Living well is in the activity of living itself, never in what may, or may not, come my way.
“That’s right, which is why I want to get myself enough money, and status, and friends to make sure I live well.”
Do you not understand that none of these things are yours to begin with, and so, in and of themselves, they reflect nothing about who you are?
I remind myself to be active instead of passive, to think about the giving instead of the receiving, to stress the quality of what I do over anything that is done to me. All of it follows from the awareness that my thoughts and deeds are my own, and they belong to no one else.
Blame is never necessary, only accountability. If another has done evil, then that is on him, though I can still offer him whatever help he needs. If I have done evil, then that is something I can correct within myself, right here and now.
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