Letter 4: On the terrors of death
Keep on as you have begun, and make all possible haste, so that you may have longer enjoyment of an improved mind, one that is at peace with itself.
Doubtless you will derive enjoyment during the time when you are improving your mind and setting it at peace with itself; but quite different is the pleasure which comes from contemplation when one's mind is so cleansed from every stain that it shines.
No man is born with innate wisdom and virtue, nor does he acquire it suddenly and completely. He is, as they say, always a work in progress, as long as he lives, since life itself is a principle of constant action and growth, and mind is a principle of constant awakening.
I can only smile when I hear the Hipster Stoics argue about what it means to be a “Stoic Sage”, as if it were some sort of static state, achieved in a flash of total enlightenment, where all pain and troubles magically disappear. A man is not a god.
There can, however, be steady and gradual improvement of character, built up by degrees, always aiming at the mastery of self that proceeds from ordered thought. As long as I am becoming better, I am following Nature.
Yet I must not dawdle, for I am assured of nothing but this very moment, and I should work to be the best that I can for as long as I can. I will only delay, putting off the effort of noble thoughts and deeds, if I am not quite convinced of their worth, if I think there is something more satisfying to pursue first. If I know it to be good, I will be eager; if I do not yet fully understand, some further learning is immediately in order.
Or perhaps I am afraid of the sacrifices that will be required of me? Yet all I must give up is my mediocrity, which is not a burden I should be afraid of losing at all. The brief discomfort of tearing off my vices is well worth enduring for the sake of peace of mind.
As I am getting closer to fulfilling my potential, I will have moments of contentment and calm, where I can feel myself flowing with Nature instead of fighting against it. Let me savor such instances, because they remind me that joy accompanies virtue, but let me not settle for only sampling these morsels, because a far greater feast awaits me if I remain constant and committed. As my mind becomes freer and my good habits grow stronger, my satisfaction will become even deeper and more lasting.
Will I stumble and fall along the way, sometimes reverting back to my old errors? I am quite the master at that, and at first this would greatly discourage me. Now I am a little better at transforming a failure into an opportunity, a bit quicker to dust myself off and remember that there is no need for despair as long as I am willing to put one foot in front of the other. Leaps and bounds may be too much to ask, so baby steps will do for now.
Am I afraid to fail, afraid that I will run out of time, afraid that it will be taken away from me? My thoughts are my own, so only I can keep myself from being happy.
Written in 3/2012
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