Be on your guard against. . .

"There are four principal aberrations of the superior faculty against which you should be constantly on your guard, and when you have detected them, you should wipe them out and say on each occasion thus:

"First, this thought is not necessary.

"Second, this tends to destroy social union.

"Third, this which you are going to say comes not from the real thoughts; for you should consider it among the most absurd of things for a man not to speak from his real thoughts.

"But the fourth is when you shall reproach yourself for anything, for this is an evidence of the more divine part within you being overpowered and yielding to the less honorable and to the perishable part, the body, and to its gross pleasures."

--Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 11 (tr Long)

Right after having offered his ten principles of Stoic thought and action, Marcus Aurelius suggests not only what we should do, but also what we should avoid.

How is the thinking about my life helping me? Am I solving something, or dwelling upon it? Or am I perhaps denying what I should truly be thinking and doing? Thoughts can be bugbears. I can make excuses, I can wish things away, I can concern myself about the very things least worthy of my concern. I suspect only two things are necessary. What should be the nature of true judgment, and how will that judgment help my to live with virtue? Anything else is not only a waste of my time, but a damage to my character.

Are my thoughts and actions about harmony, or about discord? If there is even a hint of smugness, resentment, or of keeping tabs, I'm doing it in a totally wrong way. As soon as I think of another as my enemy, or as soon as I hold a grudge, I am well off the path to happiness. We were made for one another, and as soon as we think otherwise, we are not working with Nature, but vainly struggling against it.

Am I saying what I really mean? It is one thing to speak with concern, charity, or kindness. It is quite another thing to use my words to manipulate and coerce. In our hearts, we truly know the difference. Lies do indeed hurt others, but first and foremost, they destroy the liar. A mask of false appearances will not change who I really am. Deception not only breaks trust, and thereby the bonds of fellowship, but it also tuns me into a self-deceiver, a man who believes his own lies. I become my own worst victim.

Finally, do I harbor resentment? That itself is an indication that I am allowing my reason, my ruling part, to be ruled by my passions and circumstances, those things that should be ruled. But most importantly, am I resentful of myself? Marcus Aurelius isn't denying an awareness of our responsibilities. He's rather reminding us that we are the ones that control our actions, and unnecessary guilt or shame arise from nothing else than allowing ourselves to be ruled by wasted regrets. If there is something wrong, it is right now within my power to change it. Reproach is little more than surrender. 

Written in 11/2002