The Death of Marcus Aurelius

The Death of Marcus Aurelius

Monday, November 8, 2021

Beware of the Helots


As a reference for Seneca, Moral Letters 17.2:

Don't look down on the hobo, because even though he doesn't have much to his name and he constantly moves around, he is always willing to work, unlike the tramp, who travels but avoids work, or the bum, who avoids the effort of both travel and work. 

In the modern world, I imagine the hobo culture is a dying thing, though the attitude behind it is timeless. It is hardly an easy life, but it is intended to at least be both simple and honest. 

When I read the Stoics on the benefits of a humble life, I think of one of my favorite old films, Meet John Doe, from 1941, directed by the great Frank Capra and starring Gary Cooper and Barbara Stanwyck. 

Our hero, Long John Willougby, has a loyal hobo companion, the Colonel, wonderfully played by Walter Brennan, who is constantly warning everyone about the dangers of the "helots", and how they will drag you into a life of dependence and misery. 

No, he doesn't mean the ancient Spartan peasants, but rather "a lot of heels", the folks who will trip you up by trying to sell you all the things you don't really need, always scheming to part you from your money. 

His explanation from the film is priceless: 


Beany: Who's gonna get him?

The Colonel: The helots!

Beany: Who are they?

The Colonel: Listen sucker, you ever been broke?

Beany: Sure, mostly often.

The Colonel: All right. You're walking along, not a nickel in your jeans, you're free as the wind, nobody bothers ya. Hundreds of people pass you by in every line of business: shoes, hats, automobiles, radios, furniture, everything, and they're all nice lovable people and they let you alone, is that right? 

Then you get a hold of some dough and what happens, all those nice sweet lovable people become helots, a lotta heels. They begin creeping up on ya, trying to sell ya something: they get long claws and they get a stranglehold on ya, and you squirm and you duck and you holler and you try to push them away but you haven't got a chance. They got ya.

First thing ya know you own things, a car for instance, now your whole life is messed up with a lot more stuff: you get license fees and number plates and gas and oil and taxes and insurance and identification cards and letters and bills and flat tires and dents and traffic tickets and motorcycle cops and courtrooms and lawyers and fines and . . . a million and one other things. 

And what happens? You're not the free and happy guy you used to be. You gotta have money to pay for all those things, so you go after what the other fella's got. And there you are, you're a helot yourself.

I have long been impressed by the down-to-earth integrity of of the Hobo Code, adopted at the 1889 Hobo National Convention:

1. Decide your own life; don't let another person run or rule you.

2. When in town, always respect the local law and officials, and try to be a gentleman at all times.

3. Don't take advantage of someone who is in a vulnerable situation, locals or other hoboes.

4. Always try to find work, even if temporary, and always seek out jobs nobody wants. By doing so you not only help a business along, but ensure employment should you return to that town again.

5. When no employment is available, make your own work by using your added talents at crafts.

6. Do not allow yourself to become a stupid drunk and set a bad example for locals' treatment of other hoboes.

7. When jungling in town, respect handouts and do not wear them out; another hobo will be coming along who will need them as badly, if not worse than you.

8. Always respect nature; do not leave garbage where you are jungling.

9. If in a community jungle, always pitch in and help.

10. Try to stay clean, and boil up wherever possible.

11. When traveling, ride your train respectfully. Take no personal chances, cause no problems with the operating crew or host railroad; act like an extra crew member.

12. Do not cause problems in a train yard; another hobo will be coming along who will need passage through that yard.

13. Do not allow other hoboes to molest children; expose all molesters to authorities—they are the worst garbage to infest any society.

14. Help all runaway children, and try to induce them to return home.

15. Help your fellow hoboes whenever and wherever needed; you may need their help someday.

16. If present at a hobo court and you have testimony, give it. Whether for or against the accused, your voice counts!

It would be a better world if the fancy folks could bring themselves to follow such basic rules of decency. Ask yourself what sort of "gentleman" you really want to be. 






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