The Death of Marcus Aurelius

The Death of Marcus Aurelius

Sunday, September 19, 2021

Seneca, Moral Letters 15.6


Therefore, continually remind yourself, Lucilius, how many ambitions you have attained. When you see many ahead of you, think how many are behind! 

 

If you would thank the gods, and be grateful for your past life, you should contemplate how many men you have outstripped. 

 

But what have you to do with the others? You have outstripped yourself.

 

Not all ambitions are made equal. In a society that so highly praises achievement, we can readily fail to discern how the strongest motivations and efforts are only as good as the ends toward which they are directed. 

 

Yes, I may be driven, but what is the goal? There is a world of difference between offering to serve and demanding to be served. Yes, I may be working hard for what I want, but where is the reward that I seek? There is the struggle, and then there are the values for which, as well as the means by which, I engage in the struggle. 

 

If I measure myself by the requirements of the wheeler-dealers, I quickly start to think that I have failed, that I have not been nearly ambitious enough. This is an unhealthy path to follow, because it places the human good where it doesn’t belong, in what happens to us instead of what we do for ourselves. 

 

The fact is that I have had a few “shining moments”, if only a few, where everything just seemed to come together, and I felt deeply important. I thought I was bigger because I was recognized, and I thought I was better because I had made my mark. 

 

Then why was the satisfaction fleeting, and why did I continue to want more and more, constantly raising the bar to a higher level of worldly status? I was mistaken about where happiness was to be found, and so my ambitions were misdirected. 

 

By the judgments of the grasping men, no success will ever be good enough, hence it is crucial for me to discover another model for myself. Others might not notice, but I have already done much to improve my thinking and living. Fortune may not give me riches, but I have already made progress toward finding peace. 

 

They say there is always someone who will do it better, and always someone who will do it worse, and I suppose that is precisely as it needs to be, since we all have different gifts and talents. 

 

Nevertheless, this can sound a bit too much like comparing apples and oranges; what is this “it” that matters? In the end, my own character is not defined by anyone else, and it stands and falls on its own merits, quite independently of what other might do. I live on my own terms, not on yours, and I am the only one accountable to Nature and to God for it. 

 

It is reassuring to know that I have done well, and that I should be proud of having achieved something that is difficult. It is encouraging to be aware that what is ahead of me will be no harder than what is already behind me. 

 

At no point, however, do I need to be in competition with anyone, for a life of wisdom and virtue is open to everyone. For some to win, it is never necessary for others to lose. Happiness isn’t a pissing contest. 

Written in 7/2012




No comments:

Post a Comment