Nor
are these matters divided by long periods of time, but there is but the space
of an hour between sitting on the throne ourselves and clasping the knees of
someone else as suppliants.
Know
then that every station of life is transitory, and that what has ever happened
to anybody may happen to you also.
As a child,
I was deeply affected by an old newspaper photograph I came across, showing the
bodies of a group of mobsters who had been gunned down by their enemies.
While I was troubled
by the violence, the brutality, and the senselessness of it, the bit that stuck
with me the most was how immaculately dressed they all were. I kept wondering
if they had any idea at all that this day was going to be their last, as they
were putting on their tailored suits, silk ties, and shiny shoes.
The image
still comes to me many years later, and the thoughts associated with it runs
through my mind whenever I remember how suddenly and unexpectedly the
circumstances of life can change.
Sometimes it
will pop into my head right after some momentous shift has taken place, and I
will ask myself if there was any way I could have known this was going to
happen when I had gotten up in the morning.
Sometimes it
will pop into my head for no apparent reason at all, and I will ask myself what
sort of surprises might still await me before I lay down my head.
The setup
may be long in the making, and it can take quite some time for all the pieces
to fall into place, but we are usually quite oblivious to what is creeping up
around the corner, and so the moment of realization for us makes it seem like it
arrived out of nowhere.
I remember
what I thought would be one the happiest days of my life turning into one of
the most miserable days of my life, and what kept me barely sane for that critical
moment was the ability to laugh at myself.
“Don’t you
look the fool now? To think you even wore your favorite shirt today, all smug
and confident! Sure, you can say you saw it coming, but of course you didn’t,
because you’re too caught up in the moment. You really need to frame that picture
with the Chicago gangsters, and hang it somewhere where you can see it whenever
you wake up!”
There’s only
one thing for it, to expect anything at any time, however crazy it may seem,
and to thereby live in such a way that I can still be at peace with myself, whichever
way it turns.
Be prepared
to be admired one day and then mocked the next. Be ready to sit on the throne
in the morning and then beg at the throne in the evening. Be content to treat
this hour as the only one you have, because it could very possible be just
that.
Written in 11/2011
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