Pieter Bruegel, The Seven Virtues: Hope

Tao Te Ching 65

The ancients who showed their skill in practicing the Tao did so, not to enlighten the people, but rather to make them simple and ignorant. 

The difficulty in governing the people arises from their having much knowledge. He who tries to govern a state by his wisdom is a scourge to it; while he who does not try to do so is a blessing. 

He who knows these two things finds in them also his model and rule. Ability to know this model and rule constitutes what we call the mysterious excellence of a governor. Deep and far-reaching is such mysterious excellence, showing indeed its possessor as opposite to others, but leading them to a great conformity to him.
 

Robert Burns, "To a Mouse. . ."

As a reference for Seneca, On Peace of Mind 13.2:

This was one of those poems my father had me memorize when I was young, and I was quite resentful, and I had no idea why he liked it so much.

As with so many other things in life, I get it now.

I had to learn the Scots version, but I also include a more contemporary English rendering for those of us who are barbarian Sassenachs. ;-) 

"To a Mouse, on Turning Her Up in Her Nest With the Plough, November, 1785"

Robert Burns 

Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim'rous beastie,
O, what a pannic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi' bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an' chase thee,
Wi' murd'ring pattle!

I'm truly sorry man's dominion,
Has broken nature's social union,
An' justifies that ill opinion,
Which makes thee startle
At me, thy poor, earth-born companion,
An' fellow-mortal!

I doubt na, whiles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen icker in a thrave
'S a sma' request;
I'll get a blessin wi' the lave,
An' never miss't!

Thy wee bit housie, too, in ruin!
It's silly wa's the win's are strewin!
An' naething, now, to big a new ane,
O' foggage green!
An' bleak December's winds ensuin,
Baith snell an' keen!

Thou saw the fields laid bare an' waste,
An' weary winter comin fast,
An' cozie here, beneath the blast,
Thou thought to dwell-
Till crash! the cruel coulter past
Out thro' thy cell.

Thy wee bit heap o' leaves an' stibble,
Has cost thee mony a weary nibble!
Now thou's turn'd out, for a' thy trouble,
But house or hald,
To thole the winter's sleety dribble,
An' cranreuch cauld!

But, Mousie, thou art no thy-lane,
In proving foresight may be vain;
The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!

Still thou art blest, compar'd wi' me
The present only toucheth thee:
But, Och! I backward cast my e'e.
On prospects drear!
An' forward, tho' I canna see,
I guess an' fear!

-----

Little, cunning, cowering, timorous beast,
Oh, what a panic is in your breast!
You need not start away so hasty
With bickering prattle!
I would be loath to run and chase you,
With murdering paddle!

I'm truly sorry man's dominion
Has broken Nature's social union,
And justifies that ill opinion
Which makes you startle
At me, your poor, earth-born companion
And fellow mortal!

I doubt not, sometimes, that you may steal;
What then? Poor beast, you must live!
An odd ear in twenty-four sheaves
Is a small request;
I will get a blessing with what is left,
And never miss it.

Your small house, too, in ruin!
Its feeble walls the winds are scattering!
And nothing now, to build a new one,
Of coarse green foliage!
And bleak December's winds ensuing,
Both bitter and piercing!

You saw the fields laid bare and empty,
And weary winter coming fast,
And cozy here, beneath the blast,
You thought to dwell,
Till crash! The cruel plough passed
Out through your cell.

That small heap of leaves and stubble,
Has cost you many a weary nibble!
Now you are turned out, for all your trouble,
Without house or holding,
To endure the winter's sleety dribble,
And hoar-frost cold.

But Mouse, you are not alone,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best-laid schemes of mice and men
Go often awry,
And leave us nothing but grief and pain,
For promised joy!

Still you are blessed, compared with me!
The present only touches you:
But oh! I backward cast my eye,
On prospects dreary!
And forward, though I cannot see,
I guess and fear!

Seneca, On Peace of Mind 13.2

I will set sail unless anything happens to prevent me, I shall be praetor, if nothing hinders me, my financial operations will succeed, unless anything goes wrong with them.

This is why we say that nothing befalls the wise man that he did not expect—we do not make him exempt from the chances of human life, but from its mistakes, nor does everything happen to him as he wished it would, but as he thought it would.

Now his first thought was that his purpose might meet with some resistance, and the pain of disappointed wishes must affect a man's mind less severely if he has not been at all events confident of success.

I firmly intend to make something of myself, and even as I could well do quite a bit to improve myself, what I really mean is that I intend to make my lasting mark on other things.

And it never really works out like that at all, does it?

I may nudge this and tug at that, and I will find glorious satisfaction in the slightest movement that follows my will. Then, there is suddenly the deluge, or the avalanche, or the fire that takes it all away. “The best-laid schemes of mice and men go often awry”, indeed!

I may well go wherever I want to go, or win the high office I so desperately crave, or become as rich as my heart’s desire, but only if Fortune lets me pass. If she refuses me, there will be no recourse or appeal. It will be done according to her word.

So, where I cannot alter the course of things, let me alter my thinking about the course of things.

Once I do not make demands of Fortune to reward me, then I will learn to find peace in everything she offers, however pleasant or unpleasant it may at first appear.

Once I am open to the possibility of any and all circumstances, however convenient or inconvenient to my worldly preferences, then absolutely nothing will surprise me.

Did I win the lottery, or invest in a stock that went through the roof, or impress my boss with some profitable turn? Yes, I thought that something like that might happen.

Did my house fall down, or did I contract some terrible disease, or was I fired from my job at the most needful time? Yes, I also thought that something like that might happen.

I was ready for it, not because I expected the best or the worst, but rather because I was ready for anything.

I wasn’t ready by having some secret plan of world domination waiting in the wings, complete with a hidden underground base and killer robot army, but rather by forming my judgments and values in such a way that I could live well, and so be happy, regardless of the situation.

In redefining the terms of my success in this life, I am actually able to be successful if I die now or later, in riches or in poverty, surrounded by friends or lying alone in a ditch.

As always, if I don’t require all of “it”, either its presence or absence, it does not need to phase me.

Written in 12/2011

The Wisdom of Solomon 5:9-14

[9] "All those things have vanished like a shadow,
and like a rumor that passes by;
[10] like a ship that sails through the billowy water,
and when it has passed no trace can be found,
nor track of its keel in the waves;
[11] or as, when a bird flies through the air,
no evidence of its passage is found;
the light air, lashed by the beat of its pinions
and pierced by the force of its rushing flight,
is traversed by the movement of its wings,
and afterward no sign of its coming is found there;
[12] or as, when an arrow is shot at a target,
the air, thus divided, comes together at once,
so that no one knows its pathway.
[13] So we also, as soon as we were born, ceased to be,
and we had no sign of virtue to show,
but were consumed in our wickedness."
[14] Because the hope of the ungodly man is like
chaff carried by the wind,
and like a light hoarfrost driven away by a storm;
it is dispersed like smoke before the wind,
and it passes like the remembrance of a guest
who stays but a day.

Seneca, On Peace of Mind 13.1

It was, I imagine, following out this principle that Democritus taught that "he who would live at peace must not do much business either public or private," referring of course to unnecessary business: for if there be any necessity for it we ought to transact not only much but endless business, both public and private.

In cases, however, where no solemn duty invites us to act, we had better keep ourselves quiet: for he who does many things often puts himself in Fortune's power, and it is safest not to tempt her often, but always to remember her existence, and never to promise oneself anything on her security.

I find it quite helpful to regularly run a bit of a personal inventory, where I try to work out the difference between what I truly need to do and what I only believe I need to do. If I am brutally honest with myself, I find that I get involved in all sorts of endeavors, and yet almost all of them are not required for my happiness.

In fact, all of that busywork is more of a diversion, and it easily keeps me from attending to what matters the most. I neglect the essential, which actually demands very little of me, at the expense of the trivial, which spreads my efforts too thin.

What is good in life is itself not that difficult, because it is simple, but what is difficult in life is worrying about all the wrong things, because we make them so complex for ourselves.

I may need years and years of higher education and professional experience to learn how to write an impressive report or sell the latest project to the investors, and yet it only takes a bit of thoughtfulness and a touch of kindness to do right by my neighbor. The thoughtfulness and the kindness only come hard, in my experience, due to my own poorly built habits.

It isn’t just that the life of the busybody is hectic, and grasping, and grueling; it is indeed all of that, which is especially frustrating when we finally learn how meager the rewards will be. No, what is most harmful is how it becomes a surrender of our own lives, a dependence upon getting all of those circumstances lined up just right. In the process, the world we are so eager to master takes a mastery over us.

I struggle to gain a control over the unfolding of events and the judgments of other people, and I may deceive myself into thinking that I have gained it. All that has happened, however, is that the way other things work on their own terms has managed, for the moment, to be in agreement with how I would wish them to be. I am really just following them around.

Once they go off in a different direction from what I had planned, I wonder what didn’t “work out”, or where my cleverness and power were most lacking, and it simply doesn’t occur to me that I was betting on matters that were far beyond my power to begin with.

Why enslave myself to Fortune? Keep it simple, keep it reliable.

Written in 12/2011

Musonius Rufus, Lectures 12.7

And yet surely one will not expect men to be less moral than women, nor less capable of disciplining their desires, thereby revealing the stronger in judgment inferior to the weaker, the rulers to the ruled.

In fact, it behooves men to be much better if they expect to be superior to women, for surely if they appear to be less self-controlled they will also be baser characters.

What need is there to say that it is an act of licentiousness and nothing less for a master to have relations with a slave? Everyone knows that.

Given what Musonius has previously said about the relationship between men and women, I suspect his tongue is firmly planted in his cheek. He is calling out all of those who claim to be superior, and yet they somehow end up being quite inferior.

I know of no man who would be happy to have his wife taken by another man. Yet I know of many men who would gladly take another man’s wife.

Now there’s always the one who may be perversely titillated by sharing her with others on his own terms, but he would never permit it without his express approval. If it was beyond his control, he would explode in rage.

As I get to being middle aged, I’m a little taken aback by the odd private proposals my wife and I have started receiving, sometimes from the most respectable of folks.

Do they not realize that they are no longer dealing in affection, or even in lust, but only in power?

It took me many years to recognize it, but sex, on all sides, is not always about love, or even just about pleasure. It sadly becomes a means for dominance, and the satisfaction that comes from having mastery over another.

This is true for women just as much as it is true for men. You will laugh your head off over this, but I spent years being told by the lost love of my life how I was so deeply special, and that I needed to wait to consummate our relationship. I thought I was being noble and virtuous, but I was just being led by the nose.

She would jump in the sack with other men, but then she would sweetly tell me that they didn’t matter at all, that it was all a terrible mistake, and that she was just letting off steam. When she and I were finally together, she insisted, the earth would shake.

Now have you ever heard a bigger load of crap, or ever seen a bigger loser than me? Yet I believed every word of it, since it was all about power. She had the knack, and I was the sucker.

Men abuse that power, and women abuse that power, each in their own way. As with all things in life, sex only works when it is joined to true love. Use it as a means, and you are now nothing but the worst of players. 

Written in 12/1999

Conscience

Es ist Zeit, daß jetzt etwas getan wird. Derjenige allerdings, der etwas zu tun wagt, muß sich bewußt sein, daß er wohl als Verräter in die deutsche Geschichte eingehen wird. Unterläßt er jedoch die Tat, dann wäre er ein Verräter vor seinem eigenen Gewissen. 

It is time now that something must be done. However, the one who dares to do something must be aware that he will go down as a traitor in German history. But if he leaves the act undone, then he would be a traitor to his own conscience.

 

—Claus Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg (1907 – 1944), German officer and member of the resistance against Adolf Hitler, shortly before his failed attempt to kill Hitler with a bomb on July 20, 1944.

Criticism

Pere Borrell del Caso, Escaping Criticism (1874)

Musonius Rufus, Lectures 12.6

In reply to this I have just one thing to say: if it seems neither shameful nor out of place for a master to have relations with his own slave, particularly if she happens to be unmarried, let him consider how he would like it if his wife had relations with a male slave.

Would it not seem completely intolerable not only if the woman who had a lawful husband had relations with a slave, but even if a woman without a husband should have?

Yes, here is the notorious double standard!

The way Musonius puts it might make it sound like it is all about male pride, but in the order of Nature it will necessarily go both ways. We are tempted to want one thing for ourselves, and quite different things for others.

How many men have I now known, who look at a woman like a piece of meat, and will then say and do the foulest things? I’ve lost count.

“I wanna tap that!”

But wait, we now live in a supposed age of equality. I’ve also seen much the same from many women.

“I’ll let him take me any day of the week!”

And, at the risk of having my face bashed in, I can’t help but ask them: how would you feel if someone spoke that way about your wife or husband, or your daughter or son, or your brother or sister, or your father or mother?

“I’d kill them where they stood!”

Indeed. Do you still not see your problem?

And when they are alone, both the men and the women, they bemoan their fate, how they can’t find loving partners, how they feel so forgotten and alone.

“Why can’t I find true love?”

Because you have no sense of how to give love, or even what it means to love.

We don’t have legal slavery as an institution, and yet we still treat people like things. Where the most basic of all relationships, that between a husband and a wife, is so deeply corrupted, there is no way you will ever have a just society. The rot works from the inside out.

Is she only a pleasure to you? Is he only a convenience for you? You’re not loving; you’re buying and selling a commodity.

Written in 12/1999

IMAGE: Jean-Leon Gerome, Slave Market in Ancient Rome (c. 1884)

The Art of Peace 56

A good stance and posture reflect a proper state of mind. 

Musonius Rufus, Lectures 12.5

Not to mention the injustice of the thing, there must be sheer wantonness in anyone yielding to the temptation of shameful pleasure and, like swine, rejoicing in his own vileness.

In this category belongs the man who has relations with his own slave-maid, a thing which some people consider quite without blame, since every master is held to have it in his power to use his slave as he wishes.

In our current climate, which is just one of the many fashions that will come and go, we like to speak of justice, and we like to speak of courage. I’m always glad to see someone look out for another, and I’m always glad to see someone stick his neck out.

The problem, however, is that the virtues only work properly when that are a part of the whole package, as instances of the whole person, not just as a certain part of a person.

Where is the love of wisdom? When was the last time you heard the trendy activist speak about seeking a deeper understanding, to do some thinking before waving your fists?

Where is the practice of temperance? When was the last time you heard the rabble-rouser tell you to control your rage, to refuse giving in to hatred after you have received hatred?

“He hurt me, so I must hurt him.” As my younger students might say, “epic fail”.

Justice never follows from ignorance. Courage never flows from resentment. The four classical virtues are not arbitrarily chosen, but rather express a sense of all that we are.

The strict Stoic may take offense, but I always remember what Thomas Aquinas taught me:

Wisdom is the perfection of the intellect, the fulfillment of awareness, of knowing true from false and right from wrong.

Justice is the perfection of the will, of knowing how to treat another as an equal and as a second self.

Courage is the perfection of the irascible appetite, of our drive to fight, based upon knowing what is worth fighting for.

Temperance is the perfection of the concupiscible appetite, of our desire to possess, grown from knowing what is worth desiring.

Notice how that annoying old virtue, prudence, is required for all the rest. Notice how you can’t be just or brave or temperate if you can’t first be wise.

Notice also how temperance is almost completely lacking in almost all of our discussions, since it might remind us that passion should be ruled, and not be the ruler.

Wait, wasn’t this passage from Musonius about sex? Where’s all the sex? I was waiting for more talk about the sex!

The passage is indeed about the sex, and yet it has the nerve to suggest that sex can only be understood within the context of character. Treat another like an animal, and you then become the animal.

Pardon my French, but say that you want to fuck, and then you will only be fucked.

“Oh, she doesn’t matter, I just had my way with her!”

“Hey, I just had some fun with him, and it’s not like I’ll marry him!”

We say we abolished slavery, and yet we treat others as our disposable property, as things to be used, like fast food, like plastic bags, like pumping up at the gas station.

You won’t get your precious social justice until you have the courage to respect any man or woman as a person, not denigrate them as things for your pleasure.

Written in 12/1999

Fragments of Parmenides 11

For this shall never be proved, that the things that are not are; and do you restrain your thought from this way of inquiry.

Musonius Rufus, Lectures 12.4

"That's all very well," you say, "but unlike the adulterer who wrongs the husband of the woman he corrupts, the man who has relations with a courtesan or a woman who has no husband wrongs no one for he does not destroy anyone's hope of children."

I continue to maintain that everyone who sins and does wrong, even if it affects none of the people about him, yet immediately reveals himself as a worse and a less honorable person; for the wrong-doer by the very fact of doing wrong is worse and less honorable.

A common precept I hear is that I should do whatever I want, as long as I don’t hurt anyone. Indeed, it would hardly be a vice if it didn’t do any damage, and so it would seem that many of the things I question are really just victimless crimes, hardly crimes at all, since there are no victims.

If a woman isn’t married, and no husband will be cuckolded, where’s the harm? If a man wants to do all of these things with me, where could there possibly be any offense?

At first, this sounds great to me, since it clears me from an accountability for much that I might desire. Then I realize that it only looks good on paper, since I have never in my whole life stumbled across any action that has no effect upon others. There are no real divisions or compartments in human relations, especially not where matters of sex are concerned.

The human heart is not a stone, and the human mind does not exist in a vacuum. All things are closely connected, for better or for worse.

Sexuality is, by its very nature, profoundly intimate, and so it will also cause both the deepest joy and the deepest pain. I have seen struggles about money tear people apart, and I have seen conflicts about status draw blood, but I have observed the greatest agony, both in myself and in others, from a broken heart.

Touch someone in the most personal way possible, both in body and in soul, and the consequences will be earth-shattering.

“It was just sex, what’s the big deal?” If you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you.

But let me imagine, only in theory, that my choice of sexual partners and practices affected no one else at all. Let me imagine, along similar lines, that I stole a million dollars from a bank, but they didn’t even notice it, and they went on being just as profitable as they had always been. Would that be acceptable?

Who has been hurt? That one person I have most failed to offer the respect he deserves, that one person for whom I am most responsible. I have wronged myself. In treating other human beings as objects, things to be enjoyed and then cast aside, I have done damage to them on the outside, while I have also crippled myself on the inside.

I am always my own worst victim.

The “Stoic Turn” asks me to see my own character as my highest good, as my most important goal, and I destroy myself whenever I abuse another for my own gratification, even if the other does not necessarily feel all that abused.

Years after the fact, I will still have nightmares about someone I should never have been foolish enough to become so closely intimate with, and I will still wake up either screaming or crying. If being more of a man means no longer caring, I don’t want to be that sort of a man.

At another shameful time, I once passionately kissed a young lady, and I mean the term with the proper respect for her, after one of those drunken college parties I should never have been at in the first place.

She was a kind and sensitive soul, and she asked me when she would see me again. My so-called friends brutally mocked me for showing an interest in her, so when I did see her again, I pretended that nothing had happened.

I can still see that vivid picture of the hatred and disappointment in her eyes, not because I was some great catch, but because I had been such a terrible ass. I wrote her a letter of apology much later, when I realized what I had done, but that doesn’t really make it any better, does it?

As soon as I see another life as a disposable vehicle, I have already abandoned my own humanity. That terrible ass stabs himself in his own heart.

Sorry, Aleister Crowley, you’re not going to suck me in with “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law". Maybe it works for the neo-pagans who worship sex, money, and power as their gods, but I know I am made for something better. I learned that the hard way.

Written in 12/1999

Sayings of Heraclitus 30

This world, which is the same for all, no one of gods or men has made; but it was ever, is now, and ever shall be an ever-living Fire, with measures of it kindling, and measures going out. 

Musonius Rufus, Lectures 12.3

The fact that those relationships are not lawful or seemly makes them a disgrace and a reproach to those seeking them; whence it is that no one dares to do any of these things openly, not even if he has all but lost the ability to blush, and those who are not completely degenerate dare to do these things only in hiding and in secret.

And yet to attempt to cover up what one is doing is equivalent to a confession of guilt.

If I wish to consider what is lawful, not merely in the sense of what is popular but in the sense of what is right, then I must learn to look beyond the impression of what is gratifying or expedient. Stoic ethics is built upon the premise that the human good is found in virtue, since we are first and foremost creatures of reason and choice, called by Nature not just to feel good, but to live well.

This necessity informs all aspects of life. Whatever my preferences may be, however my passions may speak to me, will my actions be in harmony with wisdom, with courage, with temperance, and with justice?

Musonius speaks quite strongly about sexual vices here, and so we might be tempted to think he is being more prudish than prudent. Yet I would suggest that he is so insistent in the matter precisely because sexuality is one of those aspects of life where people can be at their absolute worst, where they most fail to practice self-control, where they so deeply exploit others, where they behave more like animals than human beings.

In my own thinking, I find it boils down to whether I am acting out of love or out of lust. The first is an act of the will, and it is concerned with joining my own good to that of others. The second is allowing myself to be led by my appetites, and it measures the value of others by how much they pleasure me.

It is a property of a rational creature also to know guilt and shame, and it is no accident that a painful awareness of our weaknesses and failures is so prevalent in our sexual behavior, or, more properly, our sexual misbehavior.

Now some might say that this is only a consequence of social pressures, but those of us who still choose to recognize a conscience know that it is rooted in something deeper, in a sense of right and wrong imprinted upon us by Nature. There is a perfectly good reason we feel self-disgust and remorse whenever we abuse human dignity for the sake of selfish amusement

Now it may seem that the most lustful and gluttonous are quite shameless in their ways, but notice that even they will try to keep their exploits private, and they will hang their heads when others look upon them. I have known many people who insist that we should never hide our liberated libidos, and yet I have known very few who would actually copulate on the street, like dogs would.

I was once foolishly enamored with a girl who told me that she never regretted jumping into bed with dozens of men, and yet she could not bear for her parents or teachers to know of it. I wonder if she now speaks nostalgically about her old conquests to her colleagues, or her husband, or her children? 

Written in 12/1999

IMAGE: Auguste Rodin, Eve After the Fall (c. 1886)

Tidbits from Montaigne 12

Wherever your life ends, it is all there. 

The advantage of living is not measured by length, but by use. 

Some men have lived long, and lived little; attend to it while you are in it. 

It lies in your will, not in the number of years, for you to have lived enough.

—Michel de Montaigne, Essays 1.20

Musonius Rufus, Lectures 12.2

Men who are not wantons or immoral are bound to consider sexual intercourse justified only when it occurs in marriage and is indulged in for the purpose of begetting children, since that is lawful, but unjust and unlawful when it is mere pleasure-seeking, even in marriage.

But of all sexual relations those involving adultery are most unlawful, and no more tolerable are those of men with men, because it is a monstrous thing and contrary to Nature.

But, furthermore, leaving out of consideration adultery, all intercourse with women that is without lawful character is shameful and is practiced from lack of self-restraint. So no one with any self-control would think of having relations with a courtesan or a free woman apart from marriage, no, nor even with his own maidservant.

I once very much enjoyed dramatic ideological bickering, and it was only in hindsight that I understood why that was so. I eventually learned something rather important: If I know it to be true, why do I feel the need to force it upon anyone else, which negates the very freedom of seeking understanding? It could only be my own sense of self-importance.

I once very much enjoyed violently arguing about this or that social issue, and it was only in hindsight that I understood why that was so. I eventually learned something rather important: If I speak of righteousness in all those specific matters, why am I failing to practice love throughout it all? It could only be that I am fueled not by love at all, but by resentment and hatred.

The struggle with defining sexuality has, in my short time on this Earth, been one of the most critical questions I have encountered, and it has also involved one of the nastiest forms of debate. It is deeply personal, and it is deeply intimate, and yet from all sides I see little except piss and vinegar.

No side is more “broad” or “narrow”, I would argue, because any set of moral values, any at all, will, by definition, both include some things and exclude others. By being “for” or “against” anything, I will deny or embrace their contraries.

I made a deliberate choice one day, that I would no longer reduce the dignity of human life to platitudes, and that I would no longer thoughtlessly cast aside what I found to be disagreeable.

I will still fail in the commitment, but that only inspires me to get back on track.

What Musonius has to say will certainly sound terrible to the followers of the current sexual fashions. Nevertheless, I have listened to him with respect and an open mind, and I find that his argument is quite worthy of consideration, however unpopular it may be at the moment.

I suggest not fighting about the effects, but rather going back to causes. I avoid getting caught up in preferences, but rather consider the principles. I try to move beyond the particular “what” toward the universal “why”.

When Musonius speaks of what is lawful or unlawful, he is not referring to the legislation of the state, or the customs of the majority, or the dictates of religious piety.

Like any other good Stoic, he is appealing to Nature itself, the very order in the existence of creatures, which can be learned by simply looking at what such things are in their function and purpose. This has nothing to do with what is imposed from the outside, but by what proceeds from the inside.

On a strictly biological level, sex serves a very clear role, and I wonder why we so often overlook it or negate it. As with all living things that procreate sexually, it is a means for making more of the same. It is one of those wonderful ways that Nature allows the old to be transformed into something new. Two lives together produce a new life.

On a higher level, specific to creatures that have reason and choice, it also serves a further role, a deliberate expression of the most complete love for another. This second purpose is hardly separate from the first, or in any way an exclusion of it, but rather a fulfillment and perfection of it. Within human nature, the one must necessarily go along with other.

By choosing to love one another, in an act of complete and total giving, husband and wife also choose to make something new from one another.

It took my own personal experience of marriage to understand, in a very immediate way, what Musonius meant.

Sex, many told me, was something you “had”, or something you “did”, or something you “got”. Bad people would tell me I didn’t have to buy the cow if I could get the milk for free. Even worse people would tell me it wasn’t even necessary to ask, only to take.

I know I may sound a bit stuffy here, but making love to my other half was not just an act, not some annoying chore, not a selfish means for pleasure. It was a blessing, where everything, absolutely everything, in our lives came together. The two pieces that Nature made to work together were now united, both in body and in soul.

It was pointless without unconditional love, and it was pointless without being open to having children. Remove either aspect, and you then remove the meaning of the whole. Those concepts are not arbitrary, but rather come from an awareness of what it means to be human, from the lowest physical level to the highest spiritual level.

I said I was most concerned about the deeper principles, and there you have it. I have come to understand that other people have different views, and I respect that everyone must follow his own conscience. Instead of fighting, can we discuss it with reason and love? If I am wrong, inform me, and do not despise me.

Speaking only for myself, few things have done me greater harm than thinking that sex is there merely for pleasure. Following my own model, let me take a step far further back than that: doing absolutely anything at all only for pleasure is contrary to my nature.

Should I find gratification in what is true and good? Absolutely. Is it true and good because it gratifies me? Absolutely not. The difference is all about our confusion between causes and effects.

Whenever anyone tells me about what is right and wrong in sexual matters, I notice how that most basic question of an ultimate human purpose stands behind it all. If I think that I am only made to pursue my passions, I will follow them wherever they lead me. If I think, however, that I am made to pursue my passions through the guidance of my virtue, then I will follow a very different path.

I grow tired of being told, on the one hand, that sex is all about my feelings, and I grow tired of being told, on the other hand, that sex is all about my duties. Can’t it be both, if it is rightly understood? Can’t it help me to fulfill both my passion and my reason? It doesn’t need to be dirty, and it doesn’t need to be cold.

We take out the knives and the guns when it comes to marriage, or divorce, or birth control, or homosexuality, or abortion, those topics where civility has been entirely lost.

I no longer publicly speak my mind on such things. It isn’t that I don’t think they are important, because they most certainly are, but I wait patiently until someone is willing to go back to the root, to the foundation of the human purpose as a whole.

Once that can be established, the rest takes care of itself.

Written in 12/1999

More Stoic Wisdom from Ferris Bueller

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H19uKs99vIw

"What do you care if your brother ditches school?"

"Why should he get to ditch when everybody else has to go?"

"You could ditch."

"Yeah, I'd get caught."

"I see. So you're pissed off because he ditches and doesn't get caught, is that it?"

"Basically."

"Basically. Your problem is you."

"Excuse me?"

"Excuse you. You ought to spend a little more time dealing with yourself, and a little less time worrying about what your brother does. That's just an opinion."

"What are you, a psychiatrist?"

"No."

"Then why don't you keep your opinions to yourself?"

"There's somebody you should talk to."

"If you say Ferris Bueller, you lose a testicle."

"Oh, you know him?"

Ruins

John Martin, Ruins of an Ancient City (c. 1820)