The more indulgent magistrate, however (and I should rather be such a one), will order us to forget the injury and remember the accommodation.
“But surely,” you say, “it is the part of justice to render to each that which is his due—thanks in return for a benefit, and retribution, or at any rate ill will, in return for an injury!”
This, I say, will be true when it is one man who has inflicted the injury, and a different man who has conferred the benefit; for if it is the same man, the force of the injury is nullified by the benefit conferred. Indeed, a man who ought to be pardoned, even though there were no good deeds credited to him in the past, should receive something more than mere leniency if he commits a wrong when he has a benefit to his credit.
I do not set an equal value on benefits and injuries. I reckon a benefit at a higher rate than an injury. Not all grateful persons know what it involves to be in debt for a benefit; even a thoughtless, crude fellow, one of the common herd, may know, especially soon after he has received the gift; but he does not know how deeply he stands in debt therefore.
Only the wise man knows exactly what value should be put upon everything; for the fool whom I just mentioned, no matter how good his intentions may be, either pays less than he owes, or pays it at the wrong time or the wrong place. That for which he should make return he wastes and loses. There is a marvelously accurate phraseology applied to certain subjects, a long-established terminology which indicates certain acts by means of symbols that are most efficient and that serve to outline men’s duties.
We are, as you know, wont to speak thus: “A. has made a return for the favor bestowed by B.” Making a return means handing over of your own accord that which you owe. We do not say, “He has paid back the favor”; for “pay back” is used of a man upon whom a demand for payment is made, of those who pay against their will, of those who pay under any circumstances whatsoever, and of those who pay through a third party.
We do not say, “He has ‘restored’ the benefit,” or ‘settled’ it; we have never been satisfied with a word which applies properly to a debt of money. Making a return means offering something to him from whom you have received something. The phrase implies a voluntary return; he who has made such a return has served the writ upon himself.
“But surely,” you say, “it is the part of justice to render to each that which is his due—thanks in return for a benefit, and retribution, or at any rate ill will, in return for an injury!”
This, I say, will be true when it is one man who has inflicted the injury, and a different man who has conferred the benefit; for if it is the same man, the force of the injury is nullified by the benefit conferred. Indeed, a man who ought to be pardoned, even though there were no good deeds credited to him in the past, should receive something more than mere leniency if he commits a wrong when he has a benefit to his credit.
I do not set an equal value on benefits and injuries. I reckon a benefit at a higher rate than an injury. Not all grateful persons know what it involves to be in debt for a benefit; even a thoughtless, crude fellow, one of the common herd, may know, especially soon after he has received the gift; but he does not know how deeply he stands in debt therefore.
Only the wise man knows exactly what value should be put upon everything; for the fool whom I just mentioned, no matter how good his intentions may be, either pays less than he owes, or pays it at the wrong time or the wrong place. That for which he should make return he wastes and loses. There is a marvelously accurate phraseology applied to certain subjects, a long-established terminology which indicates certain acts by means of symbols that are most efficient and that serve to outline men’s duties.
We are, as you know, wont to speak thus: “A. has made a return for the favor bestowed by B.” Making a return means handing over of your own accord that which you owe. We do not say, “He has paid back the favor”; for “pay back” is used of a man upon whom a demand for payment is made, of those who pay against their will, of those who pay under any circumstances whatsoever, and of those who pay through a third party.
We do not say, “He has ‘restored’ the benefit,” or ‘settled’ it; we have never been satisfied with a word which applies properly to a debt of money. Making a return means offering something to him from whom you have received something. The phrase implies a voluntary return; he who has made such a return has served the writ upon himself.
—from Seneca, Moral Letters 81
All this constant talk about compensation and retribution, calculated to the decimal point, and complete with compounded interest, is approaching the problem from the wrong side. I have been so worried about defending my rights, that I have forgotten to act on my responsibilities.
I should attend to how I can best give of myself, and I should then allow another man to decide how he will, in turn, give of himself. I, for one, will choose to offer a benefit whenever I am able, and as much as I would prefer to receive a helping hand in return, I will not shake my puny fist in protest when someone doesn’t live up to my expectations. Have pity on the man who can’t stop complaining, for he has forgotten his true nature.
I would make a terrible lawyer or judge, because, like Seneca, I first wish to look to the good a man has done, and, in this light, I would probably be too quick to forgive him of his sins. A benefit granted stands on its own merits, as a pure expression of love for its own sake, and while a failing in a different matter must surely be addressed, it does not subtract from the excellence of his charity. I am interested in calling people to the virtues, not in beating them down for their vices.
As soon as we are merely comparing debits and credits on a ledger, we have lost the critical insight that character is not measured by numbers, but by the depth of our good will. Should we be paying a fair price? Of course, though we become virtuous when we set that price with charity. Should we correct a man when he has done us harm? Of course, though we become righteous when we discipline with mercy.
All the best things received in life, the ones that really count, are favors bestowed, the deeds that simply make us kind and decent human beings. We cannot force people to repay a benefit, only inspire them to voluntarily make a return in kind, and that is the foundation of a just and harmonious community.
If you ask me how to fix our many political and economic problems, I will tell you that I am beginning with myself, by offering a helping hand, and I would be tickled pink if you would choose to do the same. You might say that I am dodging the question, and I will assure you that this is the only way.
Perhaps most people don’t appreciate the benefits they receive, but I don’t have to be like most people. Since it is the wise man who understands the source of the human good, it follows that it is the wise man who both knows how to properly provide a benefit, and how to fittingly receive it. Now I can grumble about how someone isn’t being grateful, or I can help him to learn about his duties, which is itself an act of service.
The world gets better, and our lives become easier, when we freely assist one another. It ceases to be virtue when it is based on coercion, which leaves us with people who are afraid, not with people who are good. Sadly, if you scratch a loud man’s sense of justice, you will too often reveal little more than bitterness and revenge.
One my favorite stories is about Lycurgus, the Spartan lawgiver, who was blinded in one eye by a reckless boy. In accord with custom, the lad was handed over to Lycurgus, to punish as he saw fit. What did he choose to do? He took the criminal under his wing, and he taught him the ways of honor. Later, he presented the reformed fellow to the assembly: "I received this young man at your hands full of violence and wanton insolence; I restore him to you in his right mind and fit to serve his country."
That, my friends, is what is meant by granting a benefit, the gift that keeps on giving. It is the very foundation of a healthy society, and it is not subject to any legalistic terms and conditions.
All this constant talk about compensation and retribution, calculated to the decimal point, and complete with compounded interest, is approaching the problem from the wrong side. I have been so worried about defending my rights, that I have forgotten to act on my responsibilities.
I should attend to how I can best give of myself, and I should then allow another man to decide how he will, in turn, give of himself. I, for one, will choose to offer a benefit whenever I am able, and as much as I would prefer to receive a helping hand in return, I will not shake my puny fist in protest when someone doesn’t live up to my expectations. Have pity on the man who can’t stop complaining, for he has forgotten his true nature.
I would make a terrible lawyer or judge, because, like Seneca, I first wish to look to the good a man has done, and, in this light, I would probably be too quick to forgive him of his sins. A benefit granted stands on its own merits, as a pure expression of love for its own sake, and while a failing in a different matter must surely be addressed, it does not subtract from the excellence of his charity. I am interested in calling people to the virtues, not in beating them down for their vices.
As soon as we are merely comparing debits and credits on a ledger, we have lost the critical insight that character is not measured by numbers, but by the depth of our good will. Should we be paying a fair price? Of course, though we become virtuous when we set that price with charity. Should we correct a man when he has done us harm? Of course, though we become righteous when we discipline with mercy.
All the best things received in life, the ones that really count, are favors bestowed, the deeds that simply make us kind and decent human beings. We cannot force people to repay a benefit, only inspire them to voluntarily make a return in kind, and that is the foundation of a just and harmonious community.
If you ask me how to fix our many political and economic problems, I will tell you that I am beginning with myself, by offering a helping hand, and I would be tickled pink if you would choose to do the same. You might say that I am dodging the question, and I will assure you that this is the only way.
Perhaps most people don’t appreciate the benefits they receive, but I don’t have to be like most people. Since it is the wise man who understands the source of the human good, it follows that it is the wise man who both knows how to properly provide a benefit, and how to fittingly receive it. Now I can grumble about how someone isn’t being grateful, or I can help him to learn about his duties, which is itself an act of service.
The world gets better, and our lives become easier, when we freely assist one another. It ceases to be virtue when it is based on coercion, which leaves us with people who are afraid, not with people who are good. Sadly, if you scratch a loud man’s sense of justice, you will too often reveal little more than bitterness and revenge.
One my favorite stories is about Lycurgus, the Spartan lawgiver, who was blinded in one eye by a reckless boy. In accord with custom, the lad was handed over to Lycurgus, to punish as he saw fit. What did he choose to do? He took the criminal under his wing, and he taught him the ways of honor. Later, he presented the reformed fellow to the assembly: "I received this young man at your hands full of violence and wanton insolence; I restore him to you in his right mind and fit to serve his country."
That, my friends, is what is meant by granting a benefit, the gift that keeps on giving. It is the very foundation of a healthy society, and it is not subject to any legalistic terms and conditions.
—Reflection written in 12/2013
IMAGE: Nicolas de Largilliere, Portrait of a French Judge (c. 1700)
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