Wisdom from the Early Cynics, Diogenes 33

One day seeing a runaway slave sitting on the brink of a well, Diogenes said, "Take care, my lad, you don't fall in." 

Seeing a boy taking clothes at the baths, he asked, "Is it for a little unguent (ἀλειμμάτιον) or is it for a new cloak (ἄλλ' ἱμάτιον)?" 

Seeing some women hanged from an olive tree, he said, "Would that every tree bore similar fruit." 

On seeing a footpad he accosted him thus: 

"What mak'st thou here, my gallant? 
Com'st thou perchance for plunder of the dead?" 

Being asked whether he had any maid or boy to wait on him, he said "No." 

"If you should die, then, who will carry you out to burial?" 

"Whoever wants the house," he replied. 

—Diogenes Laërtius, 6.52