Letter 60: On harmful prayers
I file a complaint, I enter a suit, I am angry. Do you still desire what your nurse, your guardian, or your mother, have prayed for in your behalf? Do you not yet understand what evil they prayed for? Alas, how hostile to us are the wishes of our own folk! And they are all the more hostile in proportion as they are more completely fulfilled.
It is no surprise to me, at my age, that nothing but evil attends us from our early youth; for we have grown up amid the curses invoked by our parents. And may the gods give ear to our cry also, uttered in our own behalf—one which asks no favors!
I file a complaint, I enter a suit, I am angry. Do you still desire what your nurse, your guardian, or your mother, have prayed for in your behalf? Do you not yet understand what evil they prayed for? Alas, how hostile to us are the wishes of our own folk! And they are all the more hostile in proportion as they are more completely fulfilled.
It is no surprise to me, at my age, that nothing but evil attends us from our early youth; for we have grown up amid the curses invoked by our parents. And may the gods give ear to our cry also, uttered in our own behalf—one which asks no favors!
—from Seneca, Moral Letters 60
This opening of this letter at first made me do a double-take, because I am not used to Seneca griping about the evils of the world. It took me a moment to recognize that he isn’t dwelling on resentment, but is rather striving for improvement. I have spent far too long wishing for all the wrong things, so now it is finally time to stop demanding and to start doing.
While it obviously isn’t true of all parents, do you nevertheless notice how many of them only hope and pray that their children will become rich and successful? Their teachers, and later their bosses, encourage the same sort of goals, and so we end up with little more than a well-trained “workforce” to push buttons and shuffle papers for the sake of pennies and pats on the back. This seems to me more like a curse than a blessing.
It is understandable that I would prefer pleasure over pain, wealth over poverty, and praise over disgrace, and yet if I am so busy asking God to give me what I want, I am inclined to overlook what I truly need. There is no benefit to becoming comfortable, rich, and famous if I have not, first and foremost, formed the virtues necessary to manage either their presence or their absence.
Instead of presenting a long list of demands, which is what prayer has sadly become, let me ask to be relieved of all demands, which is what prayer rightly should be. Our supposed “betters” do us no favors when they merely encourage us to acquire and consume more and more.
My son is now entering into the age of reason, and while some parents dread the incessant questions that come with it, I find them absolutely delightful. The other day, he asked me what I wanted him to do when he grew up. I suppose he was expecting me to recommend a certain profession, and he was a bit taken aback when I told him that all I wished for him was to become a good man, and therefore a happy man.
I imagine raising him this way will make jumping through the hoops a bit harder, though I hope it will make finding some peace of mind far easier.
This opening of this letter at first made me do a double-take, because I am not used to Seneca griping about the evils of the world. It took me a moment to recognize that he isn’t dwelling on resentment, but is rather striving for improvement. I have spent far too long wishing for all the wrong things, so now it is finally time to stop demanding and to start doing.
While it obviously isn’t true of all parents, do you nevertheless notice how many of them only hope and pray that their children will become rich and successful? Their teachers, and later their bosses, encourage the same sort of goals, and so we end up with little more than a well-trained “workforce” to push buttons and shuffle papers for the sake of pennies and pats on the back. This seems to me more like a curse than a blessing.
It is understandable that I would prefer pleasure over pain, wealth over poverty, and praise over disgrace, and yet if I am so busy asking God to give me what I want, I am inclined to overlook what I truly need. There is no benefit to becoming comfortable, rich, and famous if I have not, first and foremost, formed the virtues necessary to manage either their presence or their absence.
Instead of presenting a long list of demands, which is what prayer has sadly become, let me ask to be relieved of all demands, which is what prayer rightly should be. Our supposed “betters” do us no favors when they merely encourage us to acquire and consume more and more.
My son is now entering into the age of reason, and while some parents dread the incessant questions that come with it, I find them absolutely delightful. The other day, he asked me what I wanted him to do when he grew up. I suppose he was expecting me to recommend a certain profession, and he was a bit taken aback when I told him that all I wished for him was to become a good man, and therefore a happy man.
I imagine raising him this way will make jumping through the hoops a bit harder, though I hope it will make finding some peace of mind far easier.
—Reflection written in 6/2013
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