That which annoys us does not necessarily injure us; but we are driven into wild rage by our luxurious lives, so that whatever does not answer our whims arouses our anger.
We don the temper of kings. For they, too, forgetful alike of their own strength and of other men's weakness, grow white-hot with rage, as if they had received an injury, when they are entirely protected from danger of such injury by their exalted station.
They are not unaware that this is true, but by finding fault they seize upon opportunities to do harm; they insist that they have received injuries, in order that they may inflict them.
I do not wish to delay you longer; for you need no exhortation. This, among other things, is a mark of good character: it forms its own judgments and abides by them; but badness is fickle and frequently changing, not for the better, but for something different. Farewell.
We don the temper of kings. For they, too, forgetful alike of their own strength and of other men's weakness, grow white-hot with rage, as if they had received an injury, when they are entirely protected from danger of such injury by their exalted station.
They are not unaware that this is true, but by finding fault they seize upon opportunities to do harm; they insist that they have received injuries, in order that they may inflict them.
I do not wish to delay you longer; for you need no exhortation. This, among other things, is a mark of good character: it forms its own judgments and abides by them; but badness is fickle and frequently changing, not for the better, but for something different. Farewell.
—from Seneca, Moral Letters 47
Though we have outlawed the institution of slavery, we still have the slave drivers. Though we have elaborate rules to prevent coercion, we still have the bullies. It just goes to show how you’ll never change the world from the top down—the transformation has to begin in each mind and will.
It took me some time to understand how those who crave control over others are deeply unhappy about simply being themselves. It then took me even longer to discern why their constant dissatisfaction leads to an obsession with power over the pettiest details.
Unwilling to fix what is on the inside, they grab at everything on the outside, growing ever more frustrated. There longing has no end, for they are trying to square the circle.
The grasping man is inevitably an angry man, and the tiniest peculiarity can set him off. He takes offense at most anything contrary to his preferences, and thereby has abandoned any rule of principles. If you find yourself under the authority of such a man, you may believe that you are the problem, when the whole time he was his own problem.
Since he is hurting inside, the sole response he can think of is to inflict hurt in return. And if I hate him for it, how am I any better? He is to be pitied, and I can only hope I might knock some sense into him by offering patience and decency.
Perhaps this will seem extreme to some, but I have found that 99% of my anger is completely unjustified. Usually, when I say that I am expressing a “righteous” anger, I am making excuses for my bad temper, and any aggression that is ever proper within me must be subject to the virtues of courage and justice.
I don’t much like the person I become when I insist on bossing people around. You may say it is necessary to get things done, yet it all depends on what sort of things in life we believe are truly worth doing. A part of that courage I must practice is being constant in my convictions, firm in the knowledge that doing the right thing is always the best thing, however much it inconveniences my vanity.
Have mercy on the slave driver, for he is lashing himself most of all.
Though we have outlawed the institution of slavery, we still have the slave drivers. Though we have elaborate rules to prevent coercion, we still have the bullies. It just goes to show how you’ll never change the world from the top down—the transformation has to begin in each mind and will.
It took me some time to understand how those who crave control over others are deeply unhappy about simply being themselves. It then took me even longer to discern why their constant dissatisfaction leads to an obsession with power over the pettiest details.
Unwilling to fix what is on the inside, they grab at everything on the outside, growing ever more frustrated. There longing has no end, for they are trying to square the circle.
The grasping man is inevitably an angry man, and the tiniest peculiarity can set him off. He takes offense at most anything contrary to his preferences, and thereby has abandoned any rule of principles. If you find yourself under the authority of such a man, you may believe that you are the problem, when the whole time he was his own problem.
Since he is hurting inside, the sole response he can think of is to inflict hurt in return. And if I hate him for it, how am I any better? He is to be pitied, and I can only hope I might knock some sense into him by offering patience and decency.
Perhaps this will seem extreme to some, but I have found that 99% of my anger is completely unjustified. Usually, when I say that I am expressing a “righteous” anger, I am making excuses for my bad temper, and any aggression that is ever proper within me must be subject to the virtues of courage and justice.
I don’t much like the person I become when I insist on bossing people around. You may say it is necessary to get things done, yet it all depends on what sort of things in life we believe are truly worth doing. A part of that courage I must practice is being constant in my convictions, firm in the knowledge that doing the right thing is always the best thing, however much it inconveniences my vanity.
Have mercy on the slave driver, for he is lashing himself most of all.
—Reflection written in 3/2013
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