Thrasea used to say, “I would rather be killed today than exiled tomorrow.”
What then did Rufus say to him? “If you choose it as the harder, what is the meaning of your foolish choice? If as the easier, who has given you the easier? Will you not study to be content with what is given you?”
Thrasea was hardly an opponent of Stoicism; quite the contrary, his profound sense of justice, which he practiced in opposing Nero, was a clear expression of his philosophical convictions.
And yet Musonius Rufus still scolded him! It only goes to show that even the best of men will find themselves turned around, and they will need the help of their friends to get back on track.
At first glance, what Thrasea says may seem quite sensible from a Stoic perspective. My courage should surely be so great that I be eager to face death right now, instead of withering away for years and years, clinging to survival at the expense of my values. Let me prove my worth! In the words of Neil Young, “It’s better to burn out than to fade away!”
Before I even finish saying it, I already sense the presence of my vanity. I am getting my principles confused with my preferences, my sense of duty with my sense of pride.
Why should I want to die any sooner? Do I think it somehow makes me tougher or more impressive? Neither of these qualities have any use in and of themselves, and in this context they seem to be symptoms of a serious case of showing off.
Do I wish to be seen as being a martyr? Then I am hardly a martyr at all, just a reckless braggart. God may love a selfless sacrifice, but not a display of bravado.
Harder deeds are not always the better deeds, just as easier deeds are not always the worse deeds. It is no more noble to die young than to die old, on the field of battle or in bed, richer or poorer, esteemed or reviled. All of these conditions are indifferent, turned either one way or another by the content of character. The circumstances never make the man.
Perhaps the opposite is true, that an early death will be a more bearable release from the burdens of this life? The exact same rules still apply, only now we face a pride of self-pity instead of a pride of self-importance. I should not desire what is more convenient, only what is right.
Thrasea did eventually have his opportunity, after a life of fighting the good fight, to face his death with honor; Nero made sure to give him the chance.
But only Thrasea’s mastery of himself was what finally mattered, since he had absolutely no mastery over what was going to happen to him. He had learned to accept what was not his to decide. Whatever he may have preferred was irrelevant, though what he chose to do with what came to him made all the difference.
Written in 8/2000
IMAGE: Fyodor Bronnikov, Quaestor Reading the Death Sentence to Thrasea Paetus (c. 1870)
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