Not everyone has a price.

"Has some one had precedence before you at an entertainment or a levee or been called in before you to give advice? If these things are good you ought to be glad that he got them; if they are evil, do not be angry that you did not get them yourself.

"Remember that if you want to get what is not in your power, you cannot earn the same reward as others unless you act as they do. How is it possible for one who does not haunt the great man’s door to have equal shares with one who does, or one who does not go in his train equality with one who does; or one who does not praise him with one who does?

"You will be unjust then and insatiable if you wish to get these privileges for nothing, without paying their price. What is the price of a lettuce? An obol perhaps. If then a man pays his obol and gets his lettuces, and you do not pay and do not get them, do not think you are defrauded. For as he has the lettuces so you have the obol you did not give.

"The same principle holds good too in conduct. You were not invited to some one’s entertainment? Because you did not give the host the price for which he sells his dinner. He sells it for compliments, be sells it for attentions. Pay him the price then, if it is to your profit. But if you wish to get the one and yet not give up the other, nothing can satisfy you in your folly.

"What, you say, you have nothing instead of the dinner? No, you have this, you have not praised the man you did not want to praise, you have not had to bear with the insults of his doorstep."

--Epictetus, Enchiridion 25 (tr Matheson)

There are all sorts of popular sayings that can point us in a similar direction: you have to pay the piper, there's no such thing as a free lunch, you can't have your cake and eat it too, you get what you pay for . . .

Epictetus, however, isn't just saying that some things will have a price, but also that we need to be clear on what that price really involves, and then ask ourselves whether it is even worth paying. We might add another aphorism: let the buyer beware.

First, of course, I may become resentful because I have not been honored or revered as other have been. Such jealousy can be overcome if I do not begrudge anyone of receiving any good, and I should certainly not be envious when someone receives an evil. If it is indeed a good, and I do indeed desire it, should I not be expected to have earned that reward in much the same way?

We are often told that everything can be bought or sold, and that everyone has his price. I don't think that is entirely true. We buy or sell things by trading something that is supposedly ours for something that is outside of our power. To receive status or position from another, I must give another something in return.

Wisdom and virtue, however, are entirely within my power, and therefore I don't buy them and I can't sell them. I can simply choose to live them.

That is why you can't buy or sell character, and only the sort of person who cares little for character thinks that everyone has a price.

But let us assume I do desire success and fortune. These things are given by others, so they depend upon the will of others. Now what will be the price of acquiring these supposed benefits? Just as I cannot expect to receive a house or car for free, even as my neighbor must buy them, so I cannot expect to rise up in this world without giving something equal in return.

What sort of thing do people who value wealth, honor, and power trade in? They trade precisely in those very commodities they value so highly. They will trade money for property, or flattery for money, or promotion for flattery. I will have to give them what they want if I hope to have them give me what I want.

If this were to seem acceptable to me, and this is the sort of life I would wish to live, then I must play that game as it is played, and I cannot complain about receiving nothing when I haven't played by the rules.

But perhaps that sort of vain and shallow life seems distasteful to me. Then I can, of course, choose not to live that way, because I don't think it right to flatter, to bribe, to deceive, to pander. Of course I will now not receive those sorts of benefits, but if I'm thinking of this rightly, it would be foolish to be jealous of something harmful.

Do I now have nothing? No, I still have my sense of integrity and justice, and I never had to pay anyone for those. They were freely given to me when I chose to embrace Nature.

Written in 8/1996

Image: Fresco with Roman Banquet Scene, Pompeii.