But they will say, “Where has this man got his high looks and his lofty countenance?”
Nay, I have not got them yet as I ought: for as yet I have not confidence in what I have learnt and assented to, I still fear my own weakness. Only let me gain confidence and then you shall see a proper aspect and a proper bearing, then I will show you the statue as it is when it is finished and polished.
What think you? That this means proud looks? Heaven forbid! Does Zeus of Olympia wear proud looks? No, but his gaze is steadfast, as his should be who is to say:
“For my word cannot be taken back, nor can it deceive.”
Such will I show myself to you—faithful, self-respecting, noble, free from tumult.
“Do you mean, free from death and old age and disease?”
No, but as one who dies as a god, and who bears illness like a god. These are my possessions, these my faculties; all others are beyond me. I will show you the sinews of a philosopher.
“What do you mean by sinews?”
Will to achieve that fails not, will to avoid that falls not into evil, impulse to act appropriately, strenuous purpose, assent that is not precipitate. This is what you shall see.
—from Epictetus, Discourses 2.8
If you decide to pursue your moral worth first, and to seek out virtue above all else, you will inevitably be accused of putting on airs. The libertine condemns you as prudish, and the deadbeat assumes you to be haughty; they regrettably do not understand why reason and passion, discipline and serenity are meant to go together. Do not be offended when they mock your fortitude.
I find that the more I work on my character, the more I recognize my failings, and so I will actually feel puny instead of mighty. In those few cases where I have managed to build up a fairly reliable habit, I no longer take much notice of any achievement, as it has become like a second nature. Conversely, a sense of superiority is a surefire sign that I am getting ahead of myself, more interested in the style than in the substance. A course correction is then in order.
There is being proud, and then there is being proud, one of those wonderful words that can indicate both something good and something bad. It is right for me to be confident in my convictions, where my strength on the inside just so happens to reveal itself as an assurance on the outside, but beware of any calculated pretense, where a veneer on the outside is covering for a rot on the inside.
There are sages whose steely gaze can cut right through us, simply because we are awkwardly ashamed to lack their righteousness. They care nothing about the impressions they make. Then there are the peacocks who strut about and lord it over us, simply because they are secretly ashamed of themselves. There is nothing behind the impressions they make.
If you decide to pursue your moral worth first, and to seek out virtue above all else, you will inevitably be accused of putting on airs. The libertine condemns you as prudish, and the deadbeat assumes you to be haughty; they regrettably do not understand why reason and passion, discipline and serenity are meant to go together. Do not be offended when they mock your fortitude.
I find that the more I work on my character, the more I recognize my failings, and so I will actually feel puny instead of mighty. In those few cases where I have managed to build up a fairly reliable habit, I no longer take much notice of any achievement, as it has become like a second nature. Conversely, a sense of superiority is a surefire sign that I am getting ahead of myself, more interested in the style than in the substance. A course correction is then in order.
There is being proud, and then there is being proud, one of those wonderful words that can indicate both something good and something bad. It is right for me to be confident in my convictions, where my strength on the inside just so happens to reveal itself as an assurance on the outside, but beware of any calculated pretense, where a veneer on the outside is covering for a rot on the inside.
There are sages whose steely gaze can cut right through us, simply because we are awkwardly ashamed to lack their righteousness. They care nothing about the impressions they make. Then there are the peacocks who strut about and lord it over us, simply because they are secretly ashamed of themselves. There is nothing behind the impressions they make.
Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled, and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted.
A man can indeed have the power of a god, not by his immortality but by his integrity. All too often, I am so busy looking for the good in countless diversions, when that divine spark of conscience was within me the entire time.
—Reflection written in 7/2001
IMAGE: Edward Burne-Jones, Fortitude (1878)
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