Living in the best way 2

"If any have offended against you, consider first: What is my relation to men, and that we are made for one another; and in another respect, I was made to be set over them, as a ram over the flock or a bull over the herd.

"But examine the matter from first principles, from this: If all things are not mere atoms, it is nature which orders all things: if this is so, the inferior things exist for the sake of the superior, and these for the sake of one another."

--Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 11 (tr Long)

First, Marcus Aurelius asks us to always remember that we live not in isolation from or in opposition to others, but through and with them. Men are made for one another, some to be greater and some to be lesser in different ways, but all for one another.

It is Nature itself that has made it so. Nature is not merely the random assembly of matter, but in each and every aspect reveals purpose. All of us participates in that purpose.

This realization needs to be a first principle of action, not merely a pleasant platitude. After all these years of seeing how petty and vindictive some people can be, I am still amazed at the assumption that I must be in constant competition with my fellows, and when I have been wronged, I should do wrong in return. Where there should be harmony and cooperation, we too often find struggle and conflict.

The mere appearance of solidarity won't suffice, for what we then all too easily do is to smile in public, but plunge the knife in private. I have often thought of this as speaking or acting sideways. None of Marcus Aurelius' nine other principles will be of any use if we cannot, with humility, justice, and charity embrace the natural fellowship of all persons.

By all means, I may feel sadness, dejection, or anger when someone has acted against me. It can be my judgment, however, to deliberately order my thoughts and feelings always for benefit, and never for harm. That crucial decision is always within my power.


Written in 11/2002