Stoic Music 11

In what I usually call my Wilderness Years, I drank far too much. I perversely deemed it right to destroy myself, because I wrongly felt that I had already been destroyed by others.

I also snorted and smoked pounds of cocaine. The stuff was an upper, and gave me but a temporary feeling of contentment. Of course, that feeling of contentment never lasted. There was always the original pain that came back, far worse than before, and that whole new pain of guilt for having sold myself.

It took me many years to manage those demons, and any addict knows that he is never cured. He is in constant recovery. Each day is a battle.

I spend much of my time now helping other recovering drug addicts to help themselves. None of it will be remembered, but I will hopefully have done right.

It seems rather silly, but a song by Howard Jones, one of my favorite musicians, helped me back in a time when I felt so alone. I would play it over and over, just to remember what really mattered.

I have learned that no person is disposable, and that every human being on the face of this Earth deserves to live, to love, and to be loved. I refuse the cynicism of those who tell me otherwise.

Written in 01/2012

Howard Jones, Little Bit of Snow", from One to One (1986)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajjgRc8l3cQ

Please don't throw you away we need you to stay
When you die a part of us dies
Not the body but part of the soul
You have a light for us we need every glimmer
Don't destroy yourself in a little bit of snow
When there is no feeling and no pain
It only lasts a little while
When one light goes out a part of all of us cries

Please hang on for us
Please give you to us
Don't destroy yourself in a little bit of snow

Please don't throw you away we need you to stay
When you die a part of us dies
Not the body but part of the soul
Drink the sunshine warm to the rain
Keep the glimmer alive for all of us
And a million matches in the night
Will help to light the way
When one light goes out
A part of all of us cries

Please hang on for us
Please give you to us
Don't destroy yourself in a little bit of snow

Drink the sunshine, warm to the rain
Keep the glimmer alive for all of us
And a million matches in the night
Will help to light the way
When one light goes out
A part of all of us cries