Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 9.42.1

When you are offended with any man's shameless conduct, immediately ask yourself, Is it possible, then, that shameless men should not be in the world? It is not possible.

Do not, then, require what is impossible. For this man also is one of those shameless men who must of necessity be in the world. Let the same considerations be present to your mind in the case of the knave, and the faithless man, and of every man who does wrong in any way.

For at the same time that you do remind yourself that it is impossible that such kind of men should not exist, you will become more kindly disposed towards every one individually.

It is useful to perceive this, too, immediately when the occasion arises, what virtue Nature has given to man to oppose to every wrongful act. For she has given to man, as an antidote against the stupid man, mildness, and against another kind of man some other power.

And in all cases it is possible for you to correct by teaching the man who is gone astray, for every man who errs misses his object and is gone astray.

Besides, wherein have you been injured? For you will find that no one among those against whom you are irritated has done anything by which your mind could be made worse; but that which is evil to you and harmful has its foundation only in the mind.

And what harm is done or what is there strange, if the man who has not been instructed does the acts of an uninstructed man? . . .

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 9.42 (tr Long)

I should never be surprised at how truly vicious people can be, just as I should never be surprised at how truly virtuous people can be. The reason for both of these is one and the same. If a creature is endowed with reason, it is also endowed with choice, and its actions will proceed not merely from the force of instinct, but from the freedom of its own judgments. Where there is awareness, all forms of character will be possible.

Knowing that people will think in all sorts of ways, however true or false they may be, also means knowing that people will live in all sorts of ways, however right or wrong they may me. I notice we are sometimes expected to express shock or disbelief at the depths of depravity or the heights of nobility, but these are to be expected as a necessary expression of a Nature charged with consciousness.

If I can understand this, I can also begin to consider why people will decide upon certain paths, and this in turn will help me show them compassion instead of condemnation. Once I become more familiar with the why, I will not be quite so offended by the what. However terrible it may be, don’t I see that I could just as easily be making the exact same mistake? Would I not then prefer to be helped rather than harmed?

Nature is ordered such that from any state of affairs, however painful or frightening it may appear, there is always the possibility of transforming it into something truly good. As one of those creatures of reason and choice, I am constantly called to pursue that option. I may feel discouraged when I see how much wrong people do, but there are so many ways to turn it all into a right.

I can always respond to any evil by simply doing what is good. Nature has already given me all the tools I need for this, and whatever the circumstances may be, it is never beyond my power to think and act with virtue. Has someone told a lie? Let me tell the truth. Has someone acted unjustly? Let me reply with justice. Has someone spilled out his hatred? Let me remedy it with love.

I can always help someone else choose to become better, by sharing with him the truth as I have experienced it, by serving as a humble example, or by simply offering friendship and understanding. It is not my place to live another man’s life for him, as only he can to do that, but it is my responsibility to encourage and support his own efforts to live well.

I can always remember that any evil done by another does not really affect the inside of me at all, unless I choose to let it do so by my own disordered thinking. We are often so busy listing everything that is wrong with the world, while failing to recognize that the solution is in embracing what is right in ourselves. If it is hurting me within my soul, influencing me in any way beyond external conditions, that hurt is from my own fault.

How beautiful it is that anything intended to hurt me can only help me to become better! When I am confronted with yet more wickedness, I am able to exercise even greater strength of character; the practice will help me to become more perfect.

Written in 12/2008