For gratitude is a good thing for ourselves, in a sense in which justice, that is commonly supposed to concern other persons, is not; gratitude returns in large measure unto itself.
There is not a man who, when he has benefited his neighbor, has not benefited himself—I do not mean for the reason that he whom you have aided will desire to aid you, or that he whom you have defended will desire to protect you, or that an example of good conduct returns in a circle to benefit the doer, just as examples of bad conduct recoil upon their authors, and as men find no pity if they suffer wrongs which they themselves have demonstrated the possibility of committing; but that the reward for all the virtues lies in the virtues themselves.
For they are not practiced with a view to recompense; the wages of a good deed is to have done it. I am grateful, not in order that my neighbor, provoked by the earlier act of kindness, may be more ready to benefit me, but simply in order that I may perform a most pleasant and beautiful act; I feel grateful, not because it profits me, but because it pleases me.
There is not a man who, when he has benefited his neighbor, has not benefited himself—I do not mean for the reason that he whom you have aided will desire to aid you, or that he whom you have defended will desire to protect you, or that an example of good conduct returns in a circle to benefit the doer, just as examples of bad conduct recoil upon their authors, and as men find no pity if they suffer wrongs which they themselves have demonstrated the possibility of committing; but that the reward for all the virtues lies in the virtues themselves.
For they are not practiced with a view to recompense; the wages of a good deed is to have done it. I am grateful, not in order that my neighbor, provoked by the earlier act of kindness, may be more ready to benefit me, but simply in order that I may perform a most pleasant and beautiful act; I feel grateful, not because it profits me, but because it pleases me.
—from Seneca, Moral Letters 81
The danger still remains of being a “nice guy” in order to win some extra perks, driven by the false judgment, however implicit, that life is improved by acquisition. A favor ceases to be a favor when it expects compensation, and gratitude ceases to be gratitude when it wishes to win approval. While a basic justice works through reciprocity, a noble benefit rises above the bare minimum to become so much more, by treating the thoughts, words, and deeds as valuable in themselves.
The clever man seeks an advantage in making terms and setting conditions, and the wise man seeks to simply do what is right for the sake of what is right. Our estimations of gain and loss are bound to our understanding of our very nature, for better or for worse.
Take note those who define themselves by gratifying their appetites, and do not be surprised when they remind you of your debts. Take note of those who define themselves by their capacity to love, and prepare to be amazed at how they vanish into the background when their work has been done.
If I accept virtue as my highest good, and if I believe this humbly and sincerely, I will also recognize the ultimate reward of any action to be in the improvement of my own soul—no number of conveniences can possibly compare. I do sometimes find myself confused by those who are putting on an elaborate show, but their true colors are revealed soon enough. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
I received an e-mail from a former student the other day, and it took me a while to realize how much the message had troubled me. He now works in the highly profitable world of selling insurance, and he offered a gripping account of getting a promotion by impressing all the right people.
I wondered why he was sharing this story, until he ended by assuring me that even though he was playing a game of manipulation, it was all for the best, because it would provide security for his family. “See, it’s being done for the greater good!”
Did he somehow want approval from his old philosophy professor? I could not bring myself to offer a stern Epictetan reprimand, or even a gentle Socratic quip, because his entire house was built on an unsteady foundation, and only tearing it down completely could restore his sanity and sanctity. I hope he will learn, sooner rather than later, how absolutely nothing of worth can ever be achieved without integrity, and why the genuine victories in this life are won by character as an end in itself. No conniving, no jockeying, no shortcuts.
Dignity can’t be bought and sold. The greatest security I can offer to my children is the simple example of a good conscience. Philosopher, heal yourself!
The danger still remains of being a “nice guy” in order to win some extra perks, driven by the false judgment, however implicit, that life is improved by acquisition. A favor ceases to be a favor when it expects compensation, and gratitude ceases to be gratitude when it wishes to win approval. While a basic justice works through reciprocity, a noble benefit rises above the bare minimum to become so much more, by treating the thoughts, words, and deeds as valuable in themselves.
The clever man seeks an advantage in making terms and setting conditions, and the wise man seeks to simply do what is right for the sake of what is right. Our estimations of gain and loss are bound to our understanding of our very nature, for better or for worse.
Take note those who define themselves by gratifying their appetites, and do not be surprised when they remind you of your debts. Take note of those who define themselves by their capacity to love, and prepare to be amazed at how they vanish into the background when their work has been done.
If I accept virtue as my highest good, and if I believe this humbly and sincerely, I will also recognize the ultimate reward of any action to be in the improvement of my own soul—no number of conveniences can possibly compare. I do sometimes find myself confused by those who are putting on an elaborate show, but their true colors are revealed soon enough. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
I received an e-mail from a former student the other day, and it took me a while to realize how much the message had troubled me. He now works in the highly profitable world of selling insurance, and he offered a gripping account of getting a promotion by impressing all the right people.
I wondered why he was sharing this story, until he ended by assuring me that even though he was playing a game of manipulation, it was all for the best, because it would provide security for his family. “See, it’s being done for the greater good!”
Did he somehow want approval from his old philosophy professor? I could not bring myself to offer a stern Epictetan reprimand, or even a gentle Socratic quip, because his entire house was built on an unsteady foundation, and only tearing it down completely could restore his sanity and sanctity. I hope he will learn, sooner rather than later, how absolutely nothing of worth can ever be achieved without integrity, and why the genuine victories in this life are won by character as an end in itself. No conniving, no jockeying, no shortcuts.
Dignity can’t be bought and sold. The greatest security I can offer to my children is the simple example of a good conscience. Philosopher, heal yourself!
—Reflection written in 12/2013
IMAGE: Gratitude, Palace of Ajuda
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