Would that in earlier days you had been minded to follow this purpose! Would that we were not discussing the happy life in plain view of death! But even now let us have no delay. For now we can take the word of experience, which tells us that there are many superfluous and hostile things; for this we should long since have taken the word of reason.
Let us do what men are wont to do when they are late in setting forth, and wish to make up for lost time by increasing their speed—let us ply the spur.
Our time of life is the best possible for these pursuits; for the period of boiling and foaming is now past. The faults that were uncontrolled in the first fierce heat of youth are now weakened, and but little further effort is needed to extinguish them.
"And when," you ask, "will that profit you which you do not learn until your departure, and how will it profit you?"
Precisely in this way, that I shall depart a better man.
You need not think, however, that any time of life is more fitted to the attainment of a sound mind than that which has gained the victory over itself by many trials and by long and oft-repeated regret for past mistakes, and, its passions assuaged, has reached a state of health.
This is indeed the time to have acquired this good; he who has attained wisdom in his old age, has attained it by his years. Farewell.
Let us do what men are wont to do when they are late in setting forth, and wish to make up for lost time by increasing their speed—let us ply the spur.
Our time of life is the best possible for these pursuits; for the period of boiling and foaming is now past. The faults that were uncontrolled in the first fierce heat of youth are now weakened, and but little further effort is needed to extinguish them.
"And when," you ask, "will that profit you which you do not learn until your departure, and how will it profit you?"
Precisely in this way, that I shall depart a better man.
You need not think, however, that any time of life is more fitted to the attainment of a sound mind than that which has gained the victory over itself by many trials and by long and oft-repeated regret for past mistakes, and, its passions assuaged, has reached a state of health.
This is indeed the time to have acquired this good; he who has attained wisdom in his old age, has attained it by his years. Farewell.
—from Seneca, Moral Letters 68
It is right and proper to embrace virtue at any age, but it seems to become most approachable in old age.
I can no longer count the number of people I have known who had a profound change of character as they turned the final bend. It is only to be expected, because the end of life, that moment when the whole picture comes into view and there can be no more illusions about our mortality, is unyielding in its demands. One of the most bitter and nasty fellows I ever met transformed into a saint during his last year.
I often regret the follies of my youth, when virtue was just one of the many things I desired, and as a result I was often quick to neglect her, especially if a mighty passion presented itself. I did not yet understand why I could not serve many masters, or to have my cake and eat it too. I would regularly start with a preference, and then try to clothe it in the appearance of a principle, so I had my priorities out of order. If only I had committed myself to virtue, instead of merely flirting with her!
But as they say, there is no use in crying over spilt milk, and while they were hardly justifiable or necessary, my many errors became the very means by which I have arrived where I am now. Providence does nothing in vain, even permitting an evil so that out if it may ultimately come a good. Hard experience, along with all the pain that accompanies it, are brutal teachers.
When so little time remains, the need to finally become human, in the deepest sense, is now all the more urgent. As the body decays, the mind can also mature; the lust now seems ridiculous, and the true work can really begin. Viewed correctly, it is a blessing, not a curse, for the roaring flames to reduce to smoldering embers. After all those decades of running about, it is pleasant to retire, not from a life of action, but into the best life of action.
If I complain about not having more time, I am confusing the quantity of life with the quality of life. Death is indeed the end, and the question is now about how I will face that end: dying with excellence or clutching at straws. It may have taken a while, though late is always better than never. While I would have wished to get my house in order as a young man, I am now at peace with my destination.
It is right and proper to embrace virtue at any age, but it seems to become most approachable in old age.
I can no longer count the number of people I have known who had a profound change of character as they turned the final bend. It is only to be expected, because the end of life, that moment when the whole picture comes into view and there can be no more illusions about our mortality, is unyielding in its demands. One of the most bitter and nasty fellows I ever met transformed into a saint during his last year.
I often regret the follies of my youth, when virtue was just one of the many things I desired, and as a result I was often quick to neglect her, especially if a mighty passion presented itself. I did not yet understand why I could not serve many masters, or to have my cake and eat it too. I would regularly start with a preference, and then try to clothe it in the appearance of a principle, so I had my priorities out of order. If only I had committed myself to virtue, instead of merely flirting with her!
But as they say, there is no use in crying over spilt milk, and while they were hardly justifiable or necessary, my many errors became the very means by which I have arrived where I am now. Providence does nothing in vain, even permitting an evil so that out if it may ultimately come a good. Hard experience, along with all the pain that accompanies it, are brutal teachers.
When so little time remains, the need to finally become human, in the deepest sense, is now all the more urgent. As the body decays, the mind can also mature; the lust now seems ridiculous, and the true work can really begin. Viewed correctly, it is a blessing, not a curse, for the roaring flames to reduce to smoldering embers. After all those decades of running about, it is pleasant to retire, not from a life of action, but into the best life of action.
If I complain about not having more time, I am confusing the quantity of life with the quality of life. Death is indeed the end, and the question is now about how I will face that end: dying with excellence or clutching at straws. It may have taken a while, though late is always better than never. While I would have wished to get my house in order as a young man, I am now at peace with my destination.
—Reflection written in 8/2013
IMAGE: Jenö Gyárfás, Youth and Age (1887)
.jpg)
No comments:
Post a Comment