Epictetus, Discourses 2.1.8

Today, when the crisis calls you, will you go off and display your recitation and harp on, “How cleverly I compose dialogues”? 
 
Nay, fellow man, make this your object, “Look how I fail not to get what I will. Look how I escape what I will to avoid. Let death come and you shall know; bring me pains, prison, dishonor, condemnation.” 
 
This is the true field of display for a young man come from school. Leave those other trifles to other men; let no one ever hear you say a word on them, do not tolerate any compliments upon them; assume the air of being no one and of knowing nothing. 

—from Epictetus, Discourses 2.1 

 
When they tell me that “talk is cheap”, I am at first hesitant to believe them, because I know full well how powerful words can be. Yet as I slowly learn more about what makes people tick, I have become painfully aware of the great divide between what we are quite happy to say and what we are actually willing to do. 
 
It doesn’t really matter which “-isms” we subscribe too, for most of the roaring really comes from the cowardly lions. My Catholic friends pontificate about the decline of Western civilization, but the fear of losing their cozy jobs keeps them from standing up for their neighbors. My hippie friends chant about tearing down the system, but they blend into the scenery as soon as they are no longer surrounded by a crowd. 
 
In much the same way, we are quick to insist that the rest of the world conform to our preferences, while rarely wishing to question the merit of those very preferences. It is easy to make demands of others, difficult to enforce them upon oneself. 
 
I still think fondly of my old pastor, who listened patiently when folks gave him extensive advice on changes needed in the parish. 
 
“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” he would then say. “When are you going to start making the arrangements?” 
 
Now how often do you think anyone ever followed up on the lofty reforms?
 
A Stoic attitude goes deeper than any political posturing, by asking us to master ourselves, regardless of how it may appear to others. Perhaps I have impressed you with my image, but what kind of man am I underneath? When push comes to shove, what will I gladly surrender for the sake of my convictions?
 
At most college commencements, a speaker, selected because of his fame, will tell the graduates to maintain their integrity as they go out in the world to become lawyers, doctors, and bankers. Would it not be better to remind them that they should maintain their integrity if they find themselves in poverty, sickness, and solitude? 
 
There is no room for putting on airs when life itself is on the line; character is most sincere if it is decidedly inconvenient. 
 
I’m afraid I did not receive the right sort of schooling, but I am now doing my best to catch up. 

—Reflection written in 5/2001