Reflections

Primary Sources

Wednesday, May 17, 2023

Seneca, Moral Letters 49.5


And yet I may well seem in your eyes no less mad, if I spend my energies on that sort of thing; for even now I am in a state of siege. And yet, in the former case it would be merely a peril from the outside that threatened me, and a wall that sundered me from the foe; as it is now, death-dealing perils are in my very presence. I have no time for such nonsense; a mighty undertaking is on my hands. 
 
What am I to do? Death is on my trail, and life is fleeting away; teach me something with which to face these troubles. Bring it to pass that I shall cease trying to escape from death, and that life may cease to escape from me. Give me courage to meet hardships; make me calm in the face of the unavoidable.
 
Relax the straitened limits of the time which is allotted me. Show me that the good in life does not depend upon life's length, but upon the use we make of it; also, that it is possible, or rather usual, for a man who has lived long to have lived too little. 
 
Say to me when I lie down to sleep: "You may not wake again!" And when I have waked: "You may not go to sleep again!" Say to me when I go forth from my house: "You may not return!" And when I return: "You may never go forth again!" 

—from Seneca, Moral Letters 49 
 
I understand why military analogies can fall flat, since not all of us possess the capacity for going to war, and the drudgery of everyday life seems so far removed from the heroic deeds of a soldier. 
 
How could I possibly compare the siege of a city to my humdrum attempts at acting with a smidgen of integrity? Aren’t these two totally different sorts of honor? 
 
Do not be deceived. Battles take on many forms, and the ones that matter the most take place on the inside, not on the outside. 
 
The young soldier confronts the fear of death to do his duty, while the old sage conquers the fear of death by treasuring the virtues. The one worries that he might die, the other accepts that he must die, and in their own ways they both come to understand why living well is so much more important than merely living. 
 
Know that the time granted is sorely limited, and how Fortune do not take kindly to do-overs. The only way to find that strength is by joining my own will to the will of Providence. It is as if our lives have been set out before us so we can learn to cherish quality over quantity. 
 
Some may consider Seneca’s wishes here to be morbid, but that is because they are still perceiving death itself to be an evil. I should be acutely aware that death can come at any time, in order that I might treat each and every moment as precious. 
 
Upon waking and upon going to sleep, when leaving the home and when returning to it, imagining it as the last time reminds me to act on my conscience right here and now, never assuming I can delay until tomorrow. He who hesitates is lost. 

—Reflection written in 3/2013 

IMAGE: Rembrandt, An Old Man in an Armchair (c. 1650) 



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