"Do you mean to say," comes the retort, "that I must seat all my slaves at my own table?"
No, not any more than that you should invite all free men to it. You are mistaken if you think that I would bar from my table certain slaves whose duties are more humble, as, for example, yonder muleteer or yonder herdsman; I propose to value them according to their character, and not according to their duties. Each man acquires his character for himself, but accident assigns his duties.
Invite some to your table because they deserve the honor, and others that they may come to deserve it. For if there is any slavish quality in them as the result of their low associations, it will be shaken off by intercourse with men of gentler breeding.
You need not, my dear Lucilius, hunt for friends only in the forum or in the Senate house; if you are careful and attentive, you will find them at home also. Good material often stands idle for want of an artist; make the experiment, and you will find it so.
As he is a fool who, when purchasing a horse, does not consider the animal's points, but merely his saddle and bridle; so he is doubly a fool who values a man from his clothes or from his rank, which indeed is only a robe that clothes us.
No, not any more than that you should invite all free men to it. You are mistaken if you think that I would bar from my table certain slaves whose duties are more humble, as, for example, yonder muleteer or yonder herdsman; I propose to value them according to their character, and not according to their duties. Each man acquires his character for himself, but accident assigns his duties.
Invite some to your table because they deserve the honor, and others that they may come to deserve it. For if there is any slavish quality in them as the result of their low associations, it will be shaken off by intercourse with men of gentler breeding.
You need not, my dear Lucilius, hunt for friends only in the forum or in the Senate house; if you are careful and attentive, you will find them at home also. Good material often stands idle for want of an artist; make the experiment, and you will find it so.
As he is a fool who, when purchasing a horse, does not consider the animal's points, but merely his saddle and bridle; so he is doubly a fool who values a man from his clothes or from his rank, which indeed is only a robe that clothes us.
—from Seneca, Moral Letters 47
We can grow quite fond of hierarchies, and while it is good to encourage order and complementarity, we do ourselves no favors by insisting on divisions for the sake of feeling more special.
Snobbery comes in all forms, not just that of the rich and the refined against the poor and the rough. Living in rural Oklahoma, for example, has taught me how redneck pride can be just as exclusive as blueblood conceit. I do not have to look down at another in order to elevate myself.
I should choose my companions at the table wisely, but that does not mean I should make my selections on account of pedigrees or pocketbooks. I will sit down with a man if he is good, or even if he just wishes to be good, and I have little interest in his breeding or his tribal affiliations. As in other aspects of life, the Stoic looks to who you choose to be over what you happen to have.
Once I rub away at the cosmetics or the grime, for there is really little difference between them, I will learn very quickly what a fellow is truly about.
When Seneca advises Lucilius to look for fellow travelers in the humbler places, I feel a pang of guilt, for I spent far too long being impressed by all the wrong people for all the wrong reasons, imagining there was worth where no genuine merit could be found. Beyond wasting my own time, I failed to stand with those who were actually deserving of support.
The best of friends can be found in the most unassuming of places, and the best friendships will transcend the trivialities of color, class, or creed. I care whether a man is honest or dishonest, not whether he was raised uptown or downtown.
We can grow quite fond of hierarchies, and while it is good to encourage order and complementarity, we do ourselves no favors by insisting on divisions for the sake of feeling more special.
Snobbery comes in all forms, not just that of the rich and the refined against the poor and the rough. Living in rural Oklahoma, for example, has taught me how redneck pride can be just as exclusive as blueblood conceit. I do not have to look down at another in order to elevate myself.
I should choose my companions at the table wisely, but that does not mean I should make my selections on account of pedigrees or pocketbooks. I will sit down with a man if he is good, or even if he just wishes to be good, and I have little interest in his breeding or his tribal affiliations. As in other aspects of life, the Stoic looks to who you choose to be over what you happen to have.
Once I rub away at the cosmetics or the grime, for there is really little difference between them, I will learn very quickly what a fellow is truly about.
When Seneca advises Lucilius to look for fellow travelers in the humbler places, I feel a pang of guilt, for I spent far too long being impressed by all the wrong people for all the wrong reasons, imagining there was worth where no genuine merit could be found. Beyond wasting my own time, I failed to stand with those who were actually deserving of support.
The best of friends can be found in the most unassuming of places, and the best friendships will transcend the trivialities of color, class, or creed. I care whether a man is honest or dishonest, not whether he was raised uptown or downtown.
—Reflection written in 3/2013
IMAGE: Pieter Bruegel, The Peasant Wedding (1567)
No comments:
Post a Comment