Seneca, Moral Letters 36.3

Finally, he has no longer any freedom in the matter; he has pledged his word. And it is less disgraceful to compound with a creditor than to compound with a promising future. 
 
To pay his debt of money, the businessman must have a prosperous voyage, the farmer must have fruitful fields and kindly weather; but the debt which your friend owes can be completely paid by mere goodwill. 
 
Fortune has no jurisdiction over character. Let him so regulate his character that in perfect peace he may bring to perfection that spirit within him which feels neither loss nor gain, but remains in the same attitude, no matter how things fall out. 
 
A spirit like this, if it is heaped with worldly goods, rises superior to its wealth; if, on the other hand, chance has stripped him of a part of his wealth, or even all, it is not impaired. 

—from Seneca, Moral Letters 36 

 
In the hubbub of the day, I still find myself confused about what makes people tick. Did he really mean it? What sort of game is she playing? How do I know if I can really trust them? 
 
So I take a deep breath, and I remember two basic guidelines that have long served me well. I didn’t learn them from some brilliant insight, or by gaining access to any secret knowledge, but by finally taking the time to observe without any prejudice or wishful thinking. The patterns emerged far more quickly than I had anticipated.
 
First, are the words followed by deeds? Does the talking translate into walking? In the grand matters, someone may be playing a long game, so I just look to see if the simplest of assurances are kept, if there is a continuity between the presentation and the completion. Once I sense even the slightest artifice or hypocrisy, I should be on my guard. 
 
Second, in what currency is this person dealing? They say everyone has a price, and this may be true in the sense that we are all working from a certain measure, but only a man who neglects his own conscience assumes that others will sell their principles for convenience or gratification. What a man cares for the most is revealed by the compromises he is willing, or unwilling, to make. 
 
For the cynical and jaded the phrase has been reduced to a caricature, though for those who still value a life of virtue it remains an essential rule: a man is only as good as his word. While some just pretend to be cowboys, those of genuine character, whatever hats they happen to wear, understand why integrity is the foundation for all human relations. Even as everything else might be negotiable, a free and informed commitment is absolute. 
 
Money, influence, and charm will come and go, and only the fool believes they stand for anything on their own terms. Being subject to the whims of Fortune, they are not mine to give and take, and so I must rely on what is safely within my power. My thoughts and actions remain my own, however, and Nature has made it so that no one else can take them away from me. 
 
This is why people of decency consider a promise to be sacred. It should not be entered into lightly, yet once it is made, a good man would rather die than fall back on his responsibility. 
 
What do I need to make a profit in business? Just a touch gumption when the mighty forces of fate happen to go my way for a moment. What do I need to be a good man? Nothing beyond my own conscience. Rich or poor, healthy or diseased, esteemed or despised, my soul can be invincible. 
 
So the Stoic doesn’t have to cry when his circumstances change, since they do not define his self-worth. He can take it or leave it, making the most of what people usually call gains and losses, precisely because he treats both as equal opportunities for self-improvement. From a sound estimation, he knows what he is about, and he rises above the rest. 

—Reflection written in 12/2012