Letter 32: On progress
I have been asking about you, and inquiring of everyone who comes from your part of the country, what you are doing, and where you are spending your time, and with whom. You cannot deceive me; for I am with you.
Live just as if I were sure to get news of your doings, nay, as if I were sure to behold them. And if you wonder what particularly pleases me that I hear concerning you, it is that I hear nothing, that most of those whom I ask do not know what you are doing.
This is sound practice—to refrain from associating with men of different stamp and different aims. And I am indeed confident that you cannot be warped, that you will stick to your purpose, even though the crowd may surround and seek to distract you.
What, then, is on my mind? I am not afraid lest they work a change in you; but I am afraid lest they may hinder your progress. And much harm is done even by one who holds you back, especially since life is so short; and we make it still shorter by our unsteadiness, by making ever fresh beginnings at life, now one and immediately another. We break up life into little bits, and fritter it away.
I have been asking about you, and inquiring of everyone who comes from your part of the country, what you are doing, and where you are spending your time, and with whom. You cannot deceive me; for I am with you.
Live just as if I were sure to get news of your doings, nay, as if I were sure to behold them. And if you wonder what particularly pleases me that I hear concerning you, it is that I hear nothing, that most of those whom I ask do not know what you are doing.
This is sound practice—to refrain from associating with men of different stamp and different aims. And I am indeed confident that you cannot be warped, that you will stick to your purpose, even though the crowd may surround and seek to distract you.
What, then, is on my mind? I am not afraid lest they work a change in you; but I am afraid lest they may hinder your progress. And much harm is done even by one who holds you back, especially since life is so short; and we make it still shorter by our unsteadiness, by making ever fresh beginnings at life, now one and immediately another. We break up life into little bits, and fritter it away.
—from Seneca, Moral Letters 32
They tell us to make the best possible impression on others, and then they wonder why everyone ends up being so fake. Where posturing takes precedence over principle, we are teaching only the clever skills of affectation, neglecting the fact that seeming good is quite secondary to being good.
Where I conform myself to Nature, I can be confident that the right people will take notice of their own accord; the opinions of the others do not need to play a part in my own judgments.
And so it is a relief when Seneca explains how happy he is to hear nothing on the grapevine about Lucilius. Most mentors would be worried that the man isn’t making his mark, that he remains unnoticed by all the most important wheelers and dealers, but Seneca is working from a radically different set of premises about the good life.
Sometimes it really is true that “no news is good news.”
The genuine friend, however far away he may be, still knows what is best for those he loves, and he cares about the progress in their souls far more than any advancement in fame and fortune. He wants to hear the news about inner happiness, not bragging about worldly vanities.
As a rational animal, I am also made to be a social animal, and while I owe the utmost concern and respect to any of my neighbors, I must be careful about those I choose as partners in my endeavors.
For any of our shared preferences or accidental interests, are we on the same page about the very purpose of our lives? If we cannot assist one another regarding our ends, then such a division about meaning and value will become an obstacle instead of a mutual support.
No man can ever make another man fail in his life, yet I should never underestimate the power of example in providing encouragement or discouragement, and so I must be very careful about the company I keep. No good can come from rubbing shoulders with those who are petty and grasping.
Though I was sure I knew better at the time, my socializing with people of poor character always slowed me down in improving my own character. I still wish them all well, and I will gladly act for their benefit at any time, but it is unwise for us to hitch our horses together.
Time is precious, and it cannot be wasted on false starts and foolish diversions. Be glad when the man who occupies himself with mere appearances pays you no heed.
They tell us to make the best possible impression on others, and then they wonder why everyone ends up being so fake. Where posturing takes precedence over principle, we are teaching only the clever skills of affectation, neglecting the fact that seeming good is quite secondary to being good.
Where I conform myself to Nature, I can be confident that the right people will take notice of their own accord; the opinions of the others do not need to play a part in my own judgments.
And so it is a relief when Seneca explains how happy he is to hear nothing on the grapevine about Lucilius. Most mentors would be worried that the man isn’t making his mark, that he remains unnoticed by all the most important wheelers and dealers, but Seneca is working from a radically different set of premises about the good life.
Sometimes it really is true that “no news is good news.”
The genuine friend, however far away he may be, still knows what is best for those he loves, and he cares about the progress in their souls far more than any advancement in fame and fortune. He wants to hear the news about inner happiness, not bragging about worldly vanities.
As a rational animal, I am also made to be a social animal, and while I owe the utmost concern and respect to any of my neighbors, I must be careful about those I choose as partners in my endeavors.
For any of our shared preferences or accidental interests, are we on the same page about the very purpose of our lives? If we cannot assist one another regarding our ends, then such a division about meaning and value will become an obstacle instead of a mutual support.
No man can ever make another man fail in his life, yet I should never underestimate the power of example in providing encouragement or discouragement, and so I must be very careful about the company I keep. No good can come from rubbing shoulders with those who are petty and grasping.
Though I was sure I knew better at the time, my socializing with people of poor character always slowed me down in improving my own character. I still wish them all well, and I will gladly act for their benefit at any time, but it is unwise for us to hitch our horses together.
Time is precious, and it cannot be wasted on false starts and foolish diversions. Be glad when the man who occupies himself with mere appearances pays you no heed.
—Reflection written in 12/2012
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