Seneca, Moral Letters 18.8

But now I must begin to fold up my letter. "Settle your debts first," you cry. Here is a draft on Epicurus; he will pay down the sum: "Ungoverned anger begets madness." 

 

You cannot help knowing the truth of these words, since you have had not only slaves, but also enemies. But indeed this emotion blazes out against all sorts of persons; it springs from love as much as from hate, and shows itself not less in serious matters than in jest and sport. And it makes no difference how important the provocation may be, but into what kind of soul it penetrates. 

 

Similarly with fire; it does not matter how great is the flame, but what it falls upon. For solid timbers have repelled a very great fire; conversely, dry and easily inflammable stuff nourishes the slightest spark into a conflagration. 

 

So it is with anger, my dear Lucilius; the outcome of a mighty anger is madness, and hence anger should be avoided, not merely that we may escape excess, but that we may have a healthy mind. Farewell.

 

The principles of moderation, balance, and self-control will apply across all aspects of our lives, not just when we are confronted with the gorging on food and drink or the frenzy of buying and selling during the holidays. 

 

An unwillingness to tame our rage is just as great an obstacle to peace of mind as a weakness in mastering our gluttony and lust. The grasping man becomes an angry man as soon as the demands of his passions are not met to the letter, and he lashes out when the world does not grant him everything to which he believes himself entitled. 

 

In keeping with the festive theme, I wonder if there were both children and adults who had horrible temper tantrums when they didn’t like the gifts they received during the Saturnalia, just as there is now so much sulking, pouting, and slamming of bedroom doors after the presents are unwrapped at Christmas. The more things change, the more they stay the same. 

 

I have found that managing my resentment calls for very similar methods to those required for restraining my greed. In both cases, I am making the mistake of defining my happiness by the conditions in what happens to me, instead of finding contentment through the worth of my own thoughts and deeds. The common solution is in that timeless Stoic panacea, to worry less about fiddling with the circumstances and more about increasing my virtues. 

 

Did I not “get” what I wanted? I am spared a disappointment if I remember that these are not the things I truly need to live well, and that any situation can be turned into an opportunity. 

 

Did someone else not “give” me what I claim I deserve? That wasn’t my call to make, and so I have no right to seek retribution for losing what was never mine to begin with. 

 

Nor can I fall back on the excuse that I was provoked, or that I was “made” to respond with anger. With all that remains within my power, I have a choice, and no one else did the choosing for me. The events do not enrage me at all, for only my own attitude is what can ultimately enrage me. 

 

Greed bounces off me when I know how to direct my desires, and anger passes through me when I stop casting blame. Where I do not carelessly provide the fuel, the fire will have nothing with which to burn. 

Written in 8/2012