Seneca, Moral Letters 14.5

When you travelled to Sicily, you crossed the Straits. The reckless pilot scorned the blustering South Wind—the wind which roughens the Sicilian Sea and forces it into choppy currents; he sought not the shore on the left, but the strand hard by the place where Charybdis throws the seas into confusion. 

 

Your more careful pilot, however, questions those who know the locality as to the tides and the meaning of the clouds; he holds his course far from that region notorious for its swirling waters. 

 

Our wise man does the same; he shuns a strong man who may be injurious to him, making a point of not seeming to avoid him, because an important part of one's safety lies in not seeking safety openly; for what one avoids, one condemns.

 

I act poorly when I act rashly, and I act rashly when I do not temper my passions with reason. Bravery is confused with bravado, calm is replaced by carelessness, and caution gives way to negligence. 

 

I can hardly be a bigger man if I do not first know how to be a better man. I see it all around me, this assumption that throwing one’s weight about will put the world in its place, and it only ends in tragedy for all involved. There is no heroism in raising my hand to a freight train, and no point will be proven by leaping from a cliff. 

 

I have little direct experience with seamanship, though I do understand the prudence of carefully navigating through all the dangers ahead of me. My own analogy, which I must reflect upon every day, is the hazard of driving on America’s highways. 

 

The loss of life and limb on the roads is already bad enough, though I can only wonder why it isn’t far worse, given how often I see a reckless fellow speeding and weaving along in a ton of metal, so eager to gratify his urgency, regardless of the foolish risk he takes. I suppose he believes that he is in control, but he is not even in control of himself, let alone of his vehicle. Whatever he may think, he is not invincible. 

 

I now see a twisted wreck on the side of the street most every day. I am acutely aware that I won’t be able to stop other drivers from being senseless, though I do not need to be senseless myself. 

 

So it is in all aspects of life. Stay clear of the bully and the braggart, just as you would give way when that eighteen-wheeler is running a stop sign. Don’t make a scene about being defiant, just as you shouldn’t flip the finger at an angry driver. 

 

Whenever possible, do not cross paths with the selfish and the brutish, just as no good will come from yelling and cursing at someone who has rear-ended you because he was chatting on his phone. 

 

The more you draw attention to yourself, the more you are egging him on. Find contentment in anonymously being the better man. Avoid smugly basking in your righteousness, and certainly don’t show him any fear, as this gives him an excuse to focus his resentment directly upon you. 

 

“But he’s done me wrong, and I need to give him a piece of my mind!”

 

He has no concern for your mind, and you are only increasing the chance that he will introduce you to his fists. You need to do nothing except manage your own character. 

Written in 6/2012

IMAGE: Henry Fuseli, Odysseus in front of Scylla and Charybdis (c. 1796)