Stockdale on Stoicism 9

And so on to a long list of things which some unreflective people assume they're assured of controlling to the last instance—your reputation, for example. Do what you will, it's at least as fickle as your station in life. Others decide what your reputation is. Try to make it as good as possible, but again, don't get hooked on it. 

In your heart, when you get out the key and open up that old roll-top desk where you really keep your stuff, don't let "reputation" get mixed up with what's within your moral purpose, what's within the power of your will, in other words, what's up to you. Make sure it's in the bottom drawer, filed under "matters of indifference".

And so too with your health, your wealth, your pleasure, your pain, your fame, your disrepute, your life, and your death. They are all externals, all outside your control in the last instance, all outside the power of where you really live. 

And where you really live is confined to the regime of your moral purpose, confined to matters that can be projected by your acts of will—like desires, aims, aversions, judgments, attitudes, and of course, your good and your evil. 

For a Stoic, the moral purpose, the will, is the only repository of things of absolute value. Whether they are projected wisely or foolishly, for good or for evil, is up to you. When his will is set on the right course, a man becomes good; when it's on a foul course, he becomes evil. With the right course comes good luck and happiness, and with the foul course, bad luck and misery. 

—from James B. Stockdale, The Stoic Warrior's Triad