Seneca, Moral Letters 11.3

Some are most dangerous when they redden, as if they were letting all their sense of shame escape. Sulla, when the blood mantled his cheeks, was in his fiercest mood. Pompey had the most sensitive cast of countenance; he always blushed in the presence of a gathering, and especially at a public assembly. Fabianus also, I remember, reddened when he appeared as a witness before the Senate; and his embarrassment became him to a remarkable degree.

 

Such a habit is not due to mental weakness, but to the novelty of a situation; an inexperienced person is not necessarily confused, but is usually affected, because he slips into this habit by natural tendency of the body. Just as certain men are full-blooded, so others are of a quick and mobile blood, that rushes to the face at once.

 

It is important for me to remember, however, that people will often have very different instinctive responses, and that the same sign does not always point to the same thing. The danger is in making broad assumptions, even as our reactions can be distinctly personal and vary widely. The only way around this is becoming familiar with folks one by one, slowly but surely, and getting acquainted with their idiosyncrasies. 

 

This is a good life lesson for me in any event, since it is so easy to cast judgment without any depth of understanding. 

 

A flushed face can indicate shame or shyness, but it can just as easily indicate anger; not recognizing that difference can cause a world of hurt. I have known some people who immediately avert their eyes when they are hiding something, but I have known other people who avert their eyes as a mark of respect. Tears are usually associated with sadness and pain, and yet they can also reflect intense joy, or any profound release of inner tension. 

 

I have now had to sit on more academic disciplinary committees than I care to count, and the struggle for me is less about anything the students may have done, and more about entrenched faculty who are quick to condemn. 

 

“Well, you saw him, didn’t you? That little weasel! He stayed totally silent, and we all know what that means. He couldn’t give a reasonable account of what happened, and he didn’t show an ounce of regret. I say we suspend him for the semester.”

 

“Maybe he has no idea what happened, since he claims he wasn’t even there? Maybe he isn’t apologizing because he didn’t do anything wrong? Maybe kangaroo courts make him nervous, so he zips his lip?”

 

Silence on account of fear is no sin, and babbling out of nervousness is no sin either. A jaw may be clenched from an arrogant disdain or from a righteous courage. This fellow might be smiling to laugh at us, and that fellow might be smiling to show his good will. 

 

Unless I have come to know someone very well in daily life, and become closely attuned to his personality, I will resist the urge to read too much into his countenance or posture. The body has peculiar habits which are not necessarily conscious at all. I remain convinced that there can be no true justice where we do not recognize the individual in his own unique circumstances. 

Written in 6/2012