Even Socrates, Cato, and Laelius might have been shaken in their moral strength by a crowd that was unlike them; so true it is that none of us, no matter how much he cultivates his abilities, can withstand the shock of faults that approach, as it were, with so great a retinue.
Much harm is done by a single case of indulgence or greed; the familiar friend, if he be luxurious, weakens and softens us imperceptibly; the neighbor, if he be rich, rouses our covetousness; the companion, if he be slanderous, rubs off some of his rust upon us, even though we be spotless and sincere.
What then do you think the effect will be on character, when the world at large assaults it! You must either imitate or loathe the world.
Over the years, I have often struggled with finding that delicate balance between the internal and the external. This has expressed itself in different ways at different times.
The basic Stoic distinction, for example, between the things within our power and the things beyond our power might seem simple enough in theory, but it can become quite difficult to apply in practice, on account of the weight of most everything we have previously been taught.
As odd as it may seem to me now, I became accustomed to thinking that I could always find a way to “fix” the world, to make it go my way, while at the same time being resigned to believing that I could do nothing to master my own passions.
You may also remember those conflicting platitudes: “You can achieve anything you want, as long as you set your mind to it!” and yet “You can’t change how you feel!”
Realizing that I had it backwards, that I could be in charge of myself, and not need to be in charge of anyone else, I then went to the opposite extreme, of thinking myself to be immediately invincible, even as my habits were hardly prepared, and of neglecting the influence my environment still had on me.
I did not see, as young Lucilius perhaps also did not see, that the pull of the outside world cannot simply be turned on and off at a whim.
Yes, I am always the one making the choices, even when I am freely surrendering those choices, but my own resilience and self-reliance are not always rightly prepared for the task.
Yes, I am always the one forming the judgments, but my mind is not always fully awake, and so any little whisper of a suggestion can easily creep its way in.
Now replace the whisper with the screaming of an angry mob, and I don’t yet have sufficient discernment built up within me to hear my own conscience.
The sage, the truly wise man, forged in constant struggle and hardened by the practice of insight, might be more able to smile and brush it all off; the greenhorn, newly arrived on the scene, will tend to fold like a cheap lawn chair.
Did Socrates, or Cato, or Laelius ever feel weak inside when confronted by the force of popular opinion? Being human, I’m sure that they did, and their ability to still stand in the face of it only means that they had made themselves strong, not that the crowd was somehow weak.
I think of the very many times I have been confronted by the will of a pushy majority, and I crawled away with my tail between my legs, not because I didn’t know what was right, but because I was still too afraid of what they might do to me.
I think of the very few times I somehow managed to hold my ground, and when everything fell down around me, as I knew it would, I began to question, all over again, whether character was really more important than convenience.
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