Musonius Rufus, Fragments 45

And in the same way to make trial of me, Rufus used to say, "Such and such a thing will befall you at the hands of your master." 

 

In answer to him, I said that in such a case it would be kind of him to intercede on my behalf.

 

"What!" he exclaimed, "Do you mean that I should intercede on your behalf when I can get the same result from you yourself?" 

 

For in truth what one can get from himself it is superfluous and foolish as well to get from someone else.

 

If Epaphroditus, the master, threatens to punish Epictetus, the slave, what is Epictetus to do? Perhaps he can ask Musonius, the teacher, to put in a good word for him? 

 

If I face any sort of hardship in this life, what am I to do? Who is going to make my troubles go away? 

 

I should never think that Stoicism can espouse selfishness, or neglecting the needs of others, since the unity of Nature always calls for universal compassion and concern. There is no conflict between what is good for me and what is good for my neighbor, because we all share in the same dignity and purpose. 

 

It is important, however, to ask precisely what I am able to do for my fellows, and what my fellows are able to do for me. We can offer one another the deepest solidarity, encouragement, and support, but we cannot make one another’s choices. Assistance will come from the outside, but the formation of character can only come from the inside. 

 

As wonderful as it is to give and receive help, this can never take the place of being first and foremost responsible for ourselves. Epictetus will have to come to terms with the actions of Epaphroditus by his own judgments, and I will have to come to terms with a sense of pain and loss by my own judgments. Only I can ultimately make my troubles go away. 

 

I will gladly offer anything I can to improve your happiness, and I can only hope that you would do the same for me. There is, nevertheless, a great danger in asking others to do our work for us, to cross that line between the helpmate and the enabler. 

 

No good will come from relying on crutches, dependent on being provided with easy circumstances, when we are perfectly able to walk on our own two feet, to be true to our own convictions. 

 

I never liked it when my mother used to tell me that God helps those who help themselves, but I think I have now come to better understand what she meant.