Seneca, Moral Letters 6.5

Meanwhile, I owe you my little daily contribution; you shall be told what pleased me today in the writings of Hecato; it is these words: "What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself." 

 
That was indeed a great benefit; such a person can never be alone. You may be sure that such a man is a friend to all mankind. Farewell.
 
I fear that many of my past troubles have had a common origin, one I was not even quite aware of for the longest time: I neglected to be a friend to myself. 
 
For much of my life I even intensely disliked myself, wishing that, in most every possible way, I had somehow been made differently. This was not the fault of people who told be how much of a loser I was, though I was angry with them for long enough. No, the error was my own, for listening to such nasty words. I can’t change how I was made, and I can’t change what other folks say or do, but I certainly can change how I think and act. 
 
The Black Dog doesn’t help, of course, but even his weight can be put to good use, as a daily exercise in self-discipline. Once I recognize what is truly mine, his bark is worse than his bite. 
 
I must be careful of not slipping into the other extreme, of always slapping myself on the back and making excuses for my bad choices, but the fact remains that I must continue learning to respect myself. Even when I don’t like what I do, I still retain the dignity given to me by Nature, and I have it within me to always become better. 
 
To put myself down, to consider myself without value, is hardly an expression of humility, even as I may feel it so sincerely. It is an act of despair and escape, a frantic attempt to cast off my responsibility instead of embracing it. For some of us, our bad habits can make it very difficult to say, but it must nevertheless be said regularly: You are worthy of loving, and of being loved.
 
If I can look at who and what I am, without any of the baggage getting in the way, I will see a creature of intellect and of will, and that Nature made me this way is already in and of itself a wonderful thing. Now let me live up to that gift, instead of neglecting it. 
 
I will often feel alone, but even if I only retain myself, I still possess the fullness of my humanity, and I can always be my own best companion. If I find that I am bad company, that is something I can certainly fix. 
 
It is only when I have managed to take care of myself that I can then also work on taking care of others. Recognizing a shared identity with my fellows, both the ones who treat me well and the ones who treat me poorly, I am able to get beyond all those artificial impositions of division and resentment. 
 
Where one human life is respected without conditions, it can only follow that all human lives are respected without conditions. If I fall down, I lift myself up. If my neighbor falls down, I help him to lift himself up. 

Written in 3/2012