Musonius Rufus, Fragments 30

You will earn the respect of all men if you begin by earning the respect of yourself.

 

I have to be very careful with this passage, as I find it is more subtle than it may at first appear. 

 

The scoundrel, wishing to be thought of highly by others, will believe that it means he must first think highly of himself. 

 

He does not understand respect, confusing reverence with admiration, and he does not understand that he would immediately stop worrying about his reputation at the very moment he judged himself on his own merits. 

 

There is a certain wu wei to this, an effortless action, where a blessing comes to us when we cease to frantically grab at it. 

 

If I can work to honestly and humbly know myself, what Nature calls me to do, and how I should seek a place in the harmony of things, then I have begun to acquire some self-respect. This will be a reflection of my inner dignity, not of my outer status. 

 

Will everyone else suddenly “like” me? That will no longer be of importance, but those who are attuned to wisdom and virtue will surely recognize me as a kindred spirit. 

 

I must never put on a show in order to attract the right people; being foremost concerned with my own character will naturally bring me into the right circles.