Seneca, On Peace of Mind 14.1

Chapter 14

Moreover, we ought to cultivate an easy temper, and not become overly fond of the lot which fate has assigned to us, but transfer ourselves to whatever other condition chance may lead us to, and fear no alteration, either in our purposes or our position in life, provided that we do not become subject to caprice, which of all vices is the most hostile to repose.

For obstinacy, from which Fortune often wrings some concession, must needs be anxious and unhappy, but caprice, which can never restrain itself, must be more so.

My own temperament has long been quite the mess. I spend most of my time sitting there quietly, going about doing whatever I am told to do. I justify this on the grounds that I am letting the world be as it will be, and yet I am somehow hardly content. That last part is the root of my imbalance.

Then, from time to time, I will explode with self-righteousness. I’ve had enough, and I feel the need to put the bullies, the petty tyrants, and the abusers in their place.

They are suddenly quite shocked, having expected me to be their perfect little bitch. I do my job well, and then they can’t understand why I would revolt against their grand schemes.

They aren’t the problem at all; I am the root of my evil. If I am really happy with my work, I will demand nothing from them, and I will let them play their games. Yet I secretly want to be like them, a sucker for vanity.

There is the source of my caprice, of my uneven temper. I did indeed force myself to not want to be the king of the hill, but I suppressed the desire so much that it seeped out in other ways. This is now something I work on, from day to day.

Rage, fueled by my resentment, will never serve me well. Does that Vice President need to be knocked down a notch or two? Yes, but it isn’t my place. Does that Director require a swift kick in the ass? Yes, but my boot is not the one to do it.

Let them wallow in their glory. They already have their own reward. The Gospels are far more Stoic than you might think.

I am so busy trying to fix other people, and those other people are so busy trying to fix me. Imagine a world where we only try to fix ourselves, minding our own business, instead of condemning everyone else.

The Stoics taught me to be my own master. Jesus told me not to be the judge, lest I be judged. We all share that same commandment in common.

Written in 12/2011

IMAGE: Jan Bruegel, The Sermon on the Mount (1598)