Seneca, On Peace of Mind 10.4

All life is slavery: let each man therefore reconcile himself to his lot, complain of it as little as possible, and lay hold of whatever good lies within his reach.

No condition can be so wretched that an impartial mind can find no compensations in it. Small sites, if ingeniously divided, may be made use of for many different purposes, and arrangement will render ever so narrow a room habitable.

Call good sense to your aid against difficulties: it is possible to soften what is harsh, to widen what is too narrow, and to make heavy burdens press less severely upon one who bears them skillfully.

I did not realize how intensely I complained about things until I started taking a regular Stoic inventory of my thoughts and actions. When I made broad and sweeping generalizations about my state of mind, I could tell myself that all was well, but once I paid more conscious attention to the little words and deeds during my day, it became quite apparent that so much of my time and effort was spent on grumbling and protesting.

My intentions were not usually malicious, though it did sometimes come to that, but I can only describe my attitude as one thoroughly permeated with an extreme dissatisfaction. Instead of doing something with myself, the only option I was willing to entertain involved finding fault with my circumstances. A certain dry, cynical dismissiveness crept it, and it didn’t help that I felt drawn to other people of a similar disposition.

I will become no better by constantly being insulted by the world, and I won’t even feel any better by listing my grievances. Picking sides, following this tribe or that, or stewing in resentment works from a place of restlessness and conflict, so no peace can be found there.

By all means, I can observe how others choose to live, understand what moves them, discern what is good and bad in their thoughts and actions, and be willing to learn from it. But I should certainly not define myself in opposition to them. It isn’t judgment that’s the problem, but how I go about making the judgement.

If it is, there is something good within it, and it remains my responsibility to find this for myself. I regularly remind myself that nothing is useless, or offensive, or boring, unless I have decided to make it so. The problem is in here, not out there.

If it is necessary, and if only I so choose, the most meager resources can be made abundantly fruitful, much like a tiny room can be made livable and comfortable with a bit of care and ingenuity. How foolish of me to expect that things should be made bearable for me, when all I have to do is make them bearable for myself.

I complain that there’s nothing on television, and I forget that I have myself, and I live in a whole wide world.

Written in 10/2011