Musonius Rufus, Lectures 7.5

How much more fitting, then, it is that we stand firm and endure, when we know that we are suffering for some good purpose, either to help our friends or to benefit our city, or to defend our wives and children, or, best and most imperative, to become good and just and self-controlled, a state which no man achieves without hardships.

And so it remains for me to say that the man who is unwilling to exert himself almost always convicts himself as unworthy of good, since "we gain every good by toil." These words and others like them he then spoke, exhorting and urging his listeners to look upon hardship with disdain.

It has nothing to do with being the strongest fellow on the block, or showing how tough I am, or proving that pain won’t make me cry.

In order to be as strong as Nature intended me to be, I must master no one but myself. My character improves not by fighting against ever-bigger opponents, but by making something good out of any opposition I might face. I do indeed cry, even when it is only on the inside, and I know that there is no shame in crying; there is only shame in no longer caring.

I suppose Stoicism gets some of its bad reputation when people see talk like this, involving hardship, and struggle, and endurance, and then they assume it must all be about a cold and heartless fight to the death, where the first man to wince or grimace must necessarily lose. This will only happen, however, if I misunderstand the nature of circumstances on the one hand, and the nature of courage on the other.

I always remind myself that Stoic indifference does not mean that I shouldn’t care, but it rather means that I should learn what is most important to care for, and how to then go about caring for it.

Things will happen to me in life, many of them totally unexpected, most of them quite beyond my power to control. They have come to pass for a reason, under the order of Providence, even when that order is not immediately apparent to me.

Sometimes they will bring me pleasure, and sometimes they will bring me pain, yet behind all of my preferences, I must ask only one thing: how should these circumstances be put to the best use? They will only become good or bad for me by how I respond to them, whether with virtue or with vice. That is the standard by which all human actions must be judged.

An obstacle, therefore, is not something I am fighting against, but actually something I should be working with. The effort is not in conquering the world, or hating anyone or anything, but is only in bringing myself into harmony with the world. I will venture to say that courage is actually about transforming suffering into joy, not just begrudgingly putting up with suffering.

So I train myself to understand that only a loving man can be brave, and that every brave man must first be consumed by his love. It is precisely because he knows what to care for the most, both in himself and in others, and because he sees what is noble and good in every human spirit, that he is willing to dedicate all his actions, however difficult they may seem, toward this highest human good.

Hardship stops feeling so unbearable when I think of it in this way, just as any work can become a blessing when I recognize the worth of what I am working for. Suffering is now an opportunity, just as work is now deeply satisfying. I will gladly give my best for the best, and I will not need to complain; I can show gratitude for the chance to do something right.

“But I have lost so much!” No, I have lost nothing at all, if I know what is properly mine. I have only been given the possibility to improve what is mine.

“But the effort is more than I can bear!” No, the degree of my effort is in proportion to the degree of my commitment. Let me change what I love, and then I will change how much I am willing to give for love.

“We gain every good by toil.” I believe Musonius is here quoting Epicharmus of Kos. These words may seem discouraging, since toil sounds like such a terrible thing. Let me reconsider what it means to toil, and it will not seem so harsh. I can then only be encouraged.

All life is action, and the value of life is found in the end toward which that action is directed. Some actions feel easier, and some action feel harder, and I will tie myself in knots if I focus on the degree of work required. I could, rather, focus on the dignity of the goal, and then the work is a privilege.

Written in 8/1999

IMAGE: Epicharmus of Kos