Musonius Rufus, Lectures 7.2

And yet would not anyone admit how much better it is, in place of exerting oneself to win someone else's wife, to exert oneself to discipline one's desires.

In place of enduring hardships for the sake of money, to train oneself to want little.

Instead of giving oneself trouble about getting notoriety, to give oneself trouble how not to thirst for notoriety.

Instead of trying to find a way to injure an envied person, to inquire how not to envy anyone.

And instead of slaving, as sycophants do, to win false friends, to undergo suffering in order to possess true friends? 

I relate immediately to all these examples of the vices we work so very hard to pursue, since they remind me that not only have people always been good in the same ways, but also that people have always been bad in the same ways. What Musonius saw then is exactly what I see now, whenever I look around me and, most tellingly, whenever I look into myself. The trappings may be different, but human nature, with all of its highs and lows, remains constant.

That we will go to such extremes for the sake of the things that hurt us shows quite clearly that our failures are not simply about laziness. The will is there, though it is sadly misdirected. The work is done eagerly, yet we are confused about the goals. What won’t we do if we really want something? How remarkable our perseverance can be! The trick is, however, in knowing what to want, and in knowing why it is worth wanting, and redirecting all that energy rightly.

Look at the lengths we will go to for lust. I think of all the time I wasted to simply get a girl I fancied to look my way, though there was never any rhyme or reason for my attachment. I think of all the men and women I knew who hatched elaborate schemes of seduction, only to win a few moments of animal gratification.

Now imagine if that force had all been channeled into a selfless love, the sort that asks for no other satisfaction than the love itself. Imagine if it had all been used to acquire temperance, a rule over oneself!

Look at the lengths we will go to for wealth. I think of all the time I wasted trying to have more stuff, though it was never entirely clear how the act of possessing anything would make me any better or happier. I think of the get-rich-quick schemes I have seen people run after, while nothing about them was ever quick, or easy.

Now imagine if that force had all been channeled into a focus upon the goods of the soul, not just the goods of the body. Imagine if it had all been used to be happy with less, instead of wanting more!

Look at the lengths we will go to for fame. I think of all the time I wasted wanting to be recognized, praised, or admired, though it never had anything to do with who I truly was. I think of all the clever tricks I have watched people use to create an image for themselves, covering nothing but a personal mediocrity underneath.

Now imagine if that force had all been channeled into the improvement of character over appearance. Imagine if it had all been used to build a respect for oneself over a reliance upon the respect of others!

Look at the lengths we will go to for resentment. I think of all the time I wasted being angry and jealous, how deeply I stewed and simmered when others had something I did not. I think of the most horrific plots I have endured, where people find ways to do their worst to those they hate, from the schoolrooms of youth to the boardrooms of adulthood.

Now imagine if that force had all been channeled into helping rather than hurting. Imagine if it had all been used for cooperation rather than conflict!

Look at the lengths we will go to for winning friends. I think of all the time I wasted wanting to receive, wanting to be liked, wanting to be the center of a circle. I think of the games people played to widen their hold over others, thinking that having more acquaintances in their lives was somehow the same as having friends.

Now imagine if that force had all been channeled into giving over receiving, in liking instead of being liked, in closing the circle rather than being at the center of the circle. Imagine if it had all been used for offering a hand, not for being handed anything!

The effort I must exert will be the same for lust or for love, for opulence or for frugality, for fame or for dignity, for hatred or for compassion, for receiving or for giving. Which reward will truly be worth it?

Written in 8/1999