Musonius Rufus, Lectures 7.1

Lecture 7: That one should disdain hardships.

In order to support more easily and more cheerfully those hardships that we may expect to suffer in behalf of virtue and goodness, it is useful to recall what hardships people will endure for unworthy ends.

Thus for example consider what intemperate lovers undergo for the sake of evil desires, and how much exertion others expend for the sake of making profit, and how much suffering those who are pursuing fame endure, and bear in mind that all of these people submit to all kinds of toil and hardship voluntarily.

Is it not then monstrous that they for no honorable reward endure such things, while we for the sake of the ideal good—that is not only the avoidance of evil such as wrecks our lives, but also the acquisition of virtue, which we may call the provider of all goods—are not ready to bear every hardship? 

If I don’t much care for it, I may take it or leave it. But if I love it enough, I will go through hell or high water for the sake of it. If I actually love it the most, I will gladly die for it, and I will then be truly happy, even in death.

“But I hate my school!” Yes, of course I do, because I don’t really love learning, do I? What is it I want? I desire immediate gratification. No one can make me love anything, but if I just looked inside myself, I could decide that seeking wisdom is not half as bad as I think it is, and that it is worth at least as much effort as I put into feeding my appetites.

“But I hate my job!” Is it work itself that is troubling me, or is it about working for the right things? Yes, they don’t pay me enough to make ends meet, and they don’t give me an ounce of respect, whatever it is I do for them. Might I, however, consider loving the merit of my actions for their own sake, and worrying less about my bank account and my vanity?

“But I hate my life!” Yes, I have said it, and I have actually meant it. Why did I say it? Perhaps it was the burden of my circumstances, but then I can still decide to make something out of them for myself, whatever they might be. Perhaps it was the burden of my own judgments and actions, but then I always have the option of changing them. If I reconsider what I love, and how I love, I won’t need to hate my life.

If I choose to learn, if I choose to work, if I choose to serve others, if I choose to commit to myself, I will find that no obstacle can stand in my way. The depth of my love will be motive enough. I will then disdain any hardship.

“But how can I love anything, or anyone, that much? It seems impossible!”

It is only impossible because I make it impossible for myself. No one else decides what I love the most. I will decide. In those immortal words of George Clinton and Funkadelic: “Free your mind, and your ass will follow. The Kingdom of Heaven is within.”

Do I think I have chosen correctly? Then I should pursue it, since I know it to be best. Am I still hesitating? Then I didn’t know it fully at all, and I don’t truly love it, and I only chose it halfheartedly. Go back to square one.

I should think of all the energy I put into the worst things I ever did, because I foolishly considered them to be good at the time, and redirect all of that energy to doing something better, because I know it to be so now.

Do I remember that girl I was obsessed with, the one who could just smile, or roll her eyes, or cross her legs, and I would do absolutely anything she said? There was no limit to my obedience. Now I can take that same dedication to become a good man, by not being a slave to my desires.

Do I remember when she lied to me, and cheated on me, and she still had me wrapped around her finger? My denial reigned supreme. Now I can take that same devotion to become a good man, by being honest, faithful, and loyal.

Do I remember how heartbroken I was when she finally walked away, and I made those extraordinary efforts to feel sorry for myself? That melancholy was really hard work. Now I can take that same commitment to become a good man, by learning to love with sincerity.

Look how much I have done in the service of vice. Look how much I was willing to sacrifice for the sake of my lusts. If my values have indeed changed, I will also be willing to give anything and everything for true love, just like I did earlier for all my sins.

There will be one big difference: I will now be informed by my conscience, not just by my passions. I can take all the blood, sweat, and tears I expended back then, and commit them to something new, something better, something worthy.

Does it hurt? That shows that I am pushing myself. Seeking the worst things in life did indeed hurt, and look what I was willing to sacrifice for what would destroy me. Now I can consider the best things in life—are they not worth an even greater sacrifice? 

Written in 8/1999