Musonius Rufus, Lectures 3.3

In the first place, a woman must be a good housekeeper; that is a careful accountant of all that pertains to the welfare of her house and capable of directing the household slaves. It is my contention that these are the very qualities that would be present particularly in the woman who studies philosophy, since obviously each of them is a part of life, and philosophy is nothing other than knowledge about life, and the philosopher, as Socrates said, quoting Homer, is constantly engaged in investigating precisely this:

"Whatsoever of good and of evil is wrought in your halls.”

I will occasionally sneak in some Stoic texts when I teach, in between all the more popular ones I am expected to cover. Once, when we were reading the section on gender in Plato’s Republic, I took an unscheduled detour to discuss this brief essay by Musonius Rufus.

When we came to this passage, I already had a hunch that there would be strong objections. I see texts as an opportunity not only to propose a certain position, but also, and in some ways more importantly, as a means for thinking through any problem, and coming to appreciate different points of view. After all, the conclusions we arrive at will only be as good as the reasoning we use to get there.

The response was immediate. “See! I knew these guys were all fascists! Look, he says right here that a woman’s job is running the home, and then he talks about slaves!”

“First, we could try not to say that anything we don’t like is fascist; didn’t we have that conversation a few weeks ago? Second, for right or for wrong, slavery was a real part of ancient society, just as wage labor is in ours. But let’s put those two aside for the moment, and think about what Musonius might mean by a housekeeper.”

“What is there to talk about? He says woman should run the house.”

“Being a servant, who cooks, and cleans, and follows orders?”

“Exactly.”

“But he says she directs and manages the household, not that she is just a laborer, and that she does this through her own sound judgment, through her knowledge of what is right and good. Her authority and power follow from her ability to think for herself, which is why she needs philosophy.”

“But why does she have to be at home, while the men get to go out do whatever they want?”

“I’m not sure it means that women should only be at home, just as I’m not sure it means that men should stay away from the home. Different customs and traditions may express it in different ways, but Musonius’ whole argument is that both men and women are called choose good lives guided by reason, the ability to rule themselves.

“Here’s an example you may not agree with, but hopefully you can try to understand it. My wife and I were once at a fancy dinner party, and the conversation turned to careers. The hostess asked my wife what her biggest goal was. ‘To be a good wife and mother,’ she answered.

“The room suddenly went dead silent, and I think I heard some silverware drop.

“The hostess turned to me with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. ‘Well, I suppose that makes you happy, having such a subservient wife.’ This produced a good chuckle around the table.

“I had to think of what to say, because any answer I gave, even just laughing along, was going to bring me trouble. My Irish temper bubbled inside me, but I kept silent. Say nothing if you have nothing good to say.

“I didn’t have to worry. In a calm and friendly manner, my wife replied to the hostess. ‘You don’t have to turn to him. I can think and speak for myself. My most important job in this life is to care for our family, and his most important job in this life is to care for our family. One reason we are married is precisely because we agreed on this. Whichever one of us might have a fancy job outside the home, we both know that it is only there to help us with what is inside the home. The home is the center. A worldly career is a means, but our real human calling to virtue is the end.’

“The balance of power at the table had suddenly shifted. Someone suggested refilling the wine glasses, and the conversation drifted back to pretty and shallow things. I’m sure they made fun of us later, but no one in that crowd ever called my wife subservient again.

“Consider the possibility that the home is not a chore or a burden, but a vocation and a blessing, and that it should be the priority for all of its members, husbands and wives, parents and children. Maybe, just maybe, we have it backwards when we put careers ahead of families, when families should actually be ahead of careers. Love is bigger than money. What Musonius says will only make sense from that perspective." 

Written in 4/1999