Man, you have been a citizen in this great state, the world; what difference does it make to you whether for five years or for three? For that which is conformable to the laws is just for all.
Where is the hardship then, if no tyrant or yet an unjust judge sends you away from the state, but Nature, who brought you into it? It is the same as if a praetor who has employed an actor dismisses him from the stage.
"But I have not finished the five acts, but only three of them!"
You speak well, but in life the three acts are the whole drama; for what shall be a complete drama is determined by Him who was once the cause of its composition, and now of its dissolution: but you are the cause of neither.
Depart then satisfied, for He also who releases you is satisfied.
—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 12.36 (tr Long)
I don’t know in what order the Meditations were originally written, or how they somehow ended up formatted in the way they were. I have been told that Marcus Aurelius never intended them for publication, and I understand that completely, having been writing for most of my life, and never expecting anyone to read a single word.
My own thoughts are not even close to the value and dignity of the Philosopher-Emperor, but I like to imagine that he wrote down his ideas for the very same reason I did: to improve himself, not to impress anyone. He did it better, and I just followed.
I do appreciate this passage as a final one. Might he have been writing this as he knew his own life was coming to an end? What a wonderful way to go!
Look at what has been given to me, a chance to live a life of awareness and choice, a chance to determine my own dignity. I was not made as a rock, or as a tree, or even as a dog, but as a man. Thank you. That, in and of itself, is more than enough to offer gratitude to Providence.
That same Providence also gave me the time and opportunity to grow, to learn, to become myself as fully as I possibly could. There was a second gift. I made so many mistakes, and I cringe even to think of them, but each moment of my life was a new chance.
“I need more time!” No, I really don’t. What was provided was quite enough, far more than I even needed. Even as I wanted more, I always needed less than I thought. Three acts? Five acts? No difference. Now is enough. I was never entitled to it, but I received it nonetheless. It was God who gave it, and so it is right when God takes it away.
I was put on this little blue ball, at a certain time, in a certain place, and under certain circumstances. The time, or the place, or the circumstances did not make me; I chose whether I would make something of myself, whether I would be a man or a shadow of a man. Thank you.
Thanks
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