Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 12.35

The man to whom that only is good which comes in due season, and to whom it is the same thing whether he has done more or fewer acts conformable to right reason, and to whom it makes no difference whether he contemplates the world for a longer or a shorter time—for this man neither is death a terrible thing.

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 12.35 (tr Long)

“This is good. Give me more!”

But if it is so good, why can’t I enjoy what I already have? If I need more to make it better, how good was it to begin with?

I would roll my eyes when my betters told me to seek quality over quantity, and would snidely reply that I wanted both. I was failing to see that if I actually possessed something of genuine quality, I wouldn’t even be thinking about the quantity.

It is that way with a fine meal, where eating more is not better. There will be the portion that is just enough, and doubling or tripling it will only make me sick.

It is that way with the love of a true friend, where multiplying it will add nothing. There will be joy in sharing what already is, and asking for no more.

It is that way with the duration of life itself, where living well is not the same as living long. There will be contentment in having done right in this opportunity, not in demanding another.

Let me find happiness in what Nature has given to me, knowing full well that it is completely sufficient, precisely because she has given it to me. Let me do it right once, treating that moment as if it were all moments. Let me appreciate this, and I will have no longing for that.

The end of my life does not need to be a sad thing, just as the last page of a good book should not be a disappointment. It can just as easily be the happiest thing, where it all comes together, and I can walk away totally fulfilled, satisfied with a job well done. Do I still feel dissatisfied right now? Well, I can fix that right now, if only I so decide. No more is required.

More pleasure, more money, more praise, more hoops to jump through, and, above all else, more time. This is the sign of a man who chooses not to find peace simply in who he is, right here and right now. Like the glutton, he thinks that if he consumes more he will be more, and like the glutton, he gets fatter as he becomes more miserable.

Written in 10/2009