Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 12.29

The safety of life is this, to examine everything all through, what it is itself, that is its material, what the formal part; with all your soul to do justice and to say the truth.

What remains, except to enjoy life by joining one good thing to another, so as not to leave even the smallest intervals between?

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 12.29 (tr Long)

As a rational animal, I am made to seek wisdom, to look beneath appearances to the nature of things themselves, and I am made to strive to do what is good, in such a way that it is always at the center of my purpose.

This is all that I will need for a decent and happy life, assured that there is nothing that can hinder me from simply being human. If I can work to be constant in keeping my attention on these ends, I will find the peace and contentment I so desperately seek.

I find myself distracted, however, because not too many people around me may choose to see it this way. Yes, they may sometimes mouth the noble words, but too often I see manipulation taking the place of prudence, and I see gratification taking the place of justice.

Perhaps I now tell myself that if my neighbor won’t do it, then I don’t need to do it. Perhaps I now become discouraged from doing what is right, when I must face what is wrong.

Why am I making it more difficult than it has to be? Why am I compromising my own character because of the judgment of others? Let them make their own way, in their own time, and let me be my own master.

They may choose pleasure, or wealth, or power, or reputation as their goals, and I can choose something very different as my own. They may or may not notice what I am trying to do, but that is neither here nor there, as long as I am sincerely trying to do it well. Am I not receiving the respect I think I deserve? It is of no matter, since I can still decide to give such respect.

There will be times, especially at first, when I struggle mightily to do something even slightly fair or decent, even as I am still filled with frustration and resentment. Then, sometimes quite unexpectedly, I will find the deepest joy in doing the smallest of things, not because they will win me anything else, but just because they are the right things to do.

To find happiness in this life is not, I regularly remind myself, to go out and conquer the world, but just to go within and conquer my own thoughts and deeds. The rest will fall into place around that, as the worth of the rest for me is only measured by my own wisdom and virtue.

Written in 10/2009