Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 11.34

When a man kisses his child, said Epictetus, he should whisper to himself, "Tomorrow perchance you will die."

But those are words of bad omen!

"No word is a word of bad omen," said Epictetus, "which expresses any work of Nature; or if it is so, it is also a word of bad omen to speak of the ears of corn being reaped."

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 11.34 (tr Long)

There are few things more powerful than the love between people, the real love of absolute giving. It is only at this very moment that I can be guaranteed to have the chance to show it. There is no promise of it later in this life. Now is all that there is.

An old drinking buddy of mine liked to loudly tell everyone that a proper relationship was all 50/50, or as was said after a few, “fitty fitty.” No, I would reply, it’s 100/100. He would stare at me in complete confusion.

See, he thought of it it as a business arrangement. For him, it was a matter of getting a fair return on his investment. For me, it was about complete commitment being its own return. We never saw eye to eye on this.

Well, I never really saw eye to eye on this with most people. If you think of love as being about what you get, I would say you are far off the mark. Give it. Oh, there is none in return? Continue to give it. Do not let yourself be abused, or taken advantage of, or treated like a fool, but continue to give. This is within your power.

I have lost people from death, and I have lost people from rejection, and most often I have lost people from my simply no longer being useful to them. In every case, the loss burned me. And in every case, I have learned that my own merit had nothing to do with what they gave, but with what I gave.

Now is the time to give, not tomorrow. Circumstances may take away far more than I expect.

Now is the time to forgive. There may be no later.

Now is the time to say, “I love you”. I may have no other chance.

Now is the time to say, “I’m sorry”. I think of all the missed opportunities.

The wheat will be harvested, and we will all go away. Do it now.

Written in 7/2009