Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 11.31

And my heart laughed within.

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 11.31 (tr Long)

I believe Marcus Aurelius is here referring to a moment in Book 9 of Homer’s Odyssey, when Odysseus takes pleasure in having outwitted Polyphemus the Cyclops. Odysseus had identified himself to his captor as “Nobody”. When Polyphemus is stabbed in the eye, he cries out in pain, and the other Cyclopes ask him what has happened. “Nobody did this to me!” says Polyphemus, and his friends walk off, shaking their heads and shrugging their shoulders. Odysseus is quietly content with his cleverness.

Again, I don’t know why the Philosopher-Emperor jotted down this particular phrase, though I hope I am perhaps in good company. I still have whole notebooks full of quotes I read or heard here and there, and they spoke to me in some helpful way at the time.

Two things come to mind for me here. First, more generally, genuine happiness is always to be found from the inside, and not from the outside. Having order in my thoughts, commitment in my convictions, and peace in my feelings proceeds from the content of my own character.

My contentment never requires any grand outward displays, does not need to be proven to anyone, and becomes no better if it is paraded about to be recognized by others.

I notice how many people assume that happiness is all about frantic and boisterous expressions. By all means, let the effects of joy show themselves in my demeanor, but let the causes remain, tranquil and calm, within my mind and heart. Greatness does not need to be displayed.

Second, more specific to the story, I wonder if Odysseus’ play with words can also have something of a Stoic application. “Nobody, my friends, is killing me by violence or treachery!” Indeed. Who can truly harm me? People may make all sorts of attempts to do me wrong, but in the end only they can do wrong to their own souls, and only I can do wrong to my own soul.

In the end, nobody really hurts the inner me. I hurt myself. This follows from the Stoic principle that virtue is the only true human good, and that all other things are relative and indifferent.

How often have I said that others have done me some awful injustice, and so I am terribly wounded and scarred by their deeds? They may have done evil, though I do myself a further evil by embracing my own failure to do good in return. They may be masters of my circumstances, while I still rule my response to them. Don’t blame people, do right by people.

Then my heart can laugh within. Nobody else is ever my downfall.

Written in 7/2009