Boethius, The Consolation 3.40

When she made an end, I said, “I agree very strongly with Plato; for this is the second time that you have reminded me of these thoughts. The first time I had lost them through the material influence of the body; the second, when overwhelmed by this weight of trouble.”

“If,” said she, “you look back upon what we that have agreed upon earlier, you will also soon recall what you just now said you knew not.”

“What is that?” I asked.

“The guidance by which the universe is directed.”

“Yes, I remember confessing my ignorance, and though I think I foresee the answer you will offer, I am eager to hear you explain it more fully.”

“This world,” she said, “you thought a little while ago must without doubt be guided by God.”

”And I think so now,” I said, “and will never think there is any doubt thereof; and I will shortly explain by what reasoning I arrive at that point. This universe would never have been suitably put together into one form from such various and opposite parts, unless there were some One who joined such different parts together; and when joined, the very variety of their natures, so discordant among themselves, would break their harmony and tear them asunder unless the One held together what it wove into one whole.

“Such a fixed order of nature could not continue its course, could not develop motions taking such various directions in place, time, operation, space, and attributes, unless there were One who, being immutable, had the disposal of these various changes. And this cause of their remaining fixed and their moving, I call God, according to the name familiar to all.” . . .

—from Book 3, Prose 12

I have always been fascinated by the Platonic doctrine of recollection, that learning is not acquiring anything new within our minds at all, but rather remembering what was always within us, what we had somehow forgotten. Surely, we all know the feeling:

“Yes! I always knew that! What was I thinking? How could I have overlooked it?”

Some take this idea quite literally, that all knowledge is innate, and others consider it more figuratively, that we are making actual what was already possible within our minds. Either way, becoming more aware by dusting off the cobwebs is something so deeply human, a sort of intellectual déjà vu.

And surely the order in the Universe is one of those things deeply imprinted on our very nature, yet something we somehow manage to forget. We were all made as part of this balance, and then we fail to see how we fit within it all.

Go back to the beginning of the Consolation, and remember how Boethius was certain there was no certainty, convinced in his reason there was no reason, assuming out of despair that the only meaning was that there was no meaning. Now something has changed in his attitude. A time of honest and humble thinking, so different from frenzied and panicked feeling, has woken something up in his soul.

He has started to look at himself within the context of how all things are. He is no longer thinking only about his pain, but considering the purpose to the pain. He is thinking big, not small, while never forgetting who he is as a small part of everything big.

It will make sense, if I only permit myself to understand that it makes sense. I have always closed myself, and now it is time to open up. It is time to air out the musty house.

How often must I remember this? I must tell myself again and again, because it didn’t seem to stick the last time. I will try to think clearly, without frustration, or anger, or despair. I will use my reason, and I will then grasp it immediately.

Is there causality in Nature? Of course there is. Then there is order.

Is there order in Nature? Of course there is. Then there is unity.

Is there unity in Nature? Of course there is. Then there is design.

Is there design in Nature? Of course there is. Then there is Intelligence.

There is meaning, there is harmony, and there is a plan. Nothing is in vain.

How often must I remember this? Is the name alone troubling me? Is it about all the people I have known who abused the name? This causality, this order, this unity, this design, this Intelligence we may call God.

“Stop! I don’t like God, I dismiss the very idea of Him, or Her, or That!”

Why? Because yet again, I am thinking too small. No amount of preaching, or nagging, or bullying will make me see this. I need to discover it for myself.

When I strip away all the false analogies, all the ad hominems, all the red herrings, all the appeals to force or popularity, all the non sequiturs, I am left with a frightening realization.

There is Being itself, one and absolute, encompassing all other beings, many and relative. To see this is a necessary step to remembering who I really am. It isn’t just about blindly believing. It is about the deepest knowing, the one my selfishness wants me to forget.

Written in 10/2015