Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 10.35

The healthy eye ought to see all visible things and not to say, I wish for green things; for this is the condition of a diseased eye.

And the healthy hearing and smelling ought to be ready to perceive all that can be heard and smelled.

And the healthy stomach ought to be with respect to all food just as the mill with respect to all things that it is formed to grind.

And accordingly the healthy understanding ought to be prepared for everything that happens; but that which says, let my dear children live, and let all men praise whatever I may do, is an eye that seeks for green things, or teeth that seek for soft things.

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 10.35 (tr Long)

The eye, the ear, the nose, and the stomach are hardly healthy if they only receive what is pleasant to them. So too, a mind is hardly healthy if it only receives what is pleasant to it.

One of the trials of parenthood is feeding children. I don’t just mean putting food on the table, which for some of us can be quite a trial in itself, but rather giving them the food they happen to enjoy.

“I’m starving! Is there any food in the house?”

If you are trying to raise children, you know exactly where this is going.

“Yes, there’s milk in the refrigerator, and a fresh loaf of bread in the breadbox, and there’s plenty left over from that nice tuna casserole your mother made for us last night.”

Their eyes glaze over. “I don’t want that. I’m still starving!” There will soon be whining and stomping.

Suddenly, all those phrases your own parents used on you, all of those years ago, spring into your mind, and you immediately respect your own parents more than you ever have:

“No, you’re not starving, you’re just bored.”

“If you’re really hungry, you’ll eat what we have, and you’ll be grateful for it.”

“Let me tell you that story about your grandmother, who was really starving when the Nazis. . . “

There are many images that disturb me, like seeing a crying child, or a hopeless person sleeping on the street. There are many sounds that frighten me, like having to listen to the Backstreet Boys, or that pop of gunfire. There are many smells that disgust me, like boiled Brussels sprouts, or the stench of something dying.

And there are many thoughts that I simply do not wish to face. I prefer running away from them, because they are just too uncomfortable. I look into my own mind, and I see deception, betrayal, or indifference. The worst bit isn’t when it was someone else’s deception, betrayal, or indifference, but when it was actually just my own.

Eyes are made to see all colors. Ears are made to hear all sounds. Noses are made to smell all odors. Minds are made to accept, and to find meaning within, all circumstances. Hiding from any of them never makes them go away. Hiding from life never makes it any better. Coming to the right terms with whatever may happen is all that can make it better.

Have I only wanted life where there is death? I do not understand. Have I only wanted fortune where there is poverty? I do not understand. Have I only wanted fame where there is ridicule? I do not understand.

Written in 3/2009