Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 10.3

Everything that happens either happens in such a way as you are formed by nature to bear it, or as you are not formed by nature to bear it.

If, then, it happens to you in such a way as you are formed by nature to bear it, do not complain, but bear it as you are formed by nature to bear it.

But if it happens in such a way as you are not formed by nature to bear it, do not complain, for it will perish after it has consumed you.

Remember, however, that you are formed by nature to bear everything, with respect to which it depends on your own opinion to make it endurable and tolerable, by thinking that it is either your interest or your duty to do this.

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 10.3 (tr Long)

Only one of two things will occur whenever I face any sort of obstacle, or threat, or danger. Either I will be able to survive it, or it will kill me. A profound beauty of Stoic thinking is that either option can be completely good, understood rightly, and that I never need to fear for anything at all in both cases.

Though I would argue that he meant it in a totally different context, one that flies directly in the face of Stoicism, it sounds familiar to that powerful line from Nietzsche: “That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.” I only impishly add that even if it does kill us, that can still make us stronger.

Can I survive it? Good. It is an opportunity given to me by Providence to be a better man, as I choose to overcome it. Will it destroy me? Good. That is also an opportunity given to me by Providence to be a better man, as I choose to face my passing with conviction. There will only be gain, and no loss at all, if accept who I am, and what I was made to be.

I often found, after years and years of discouragement, that teaching could feel like quite the thankless task. One tries to do something helpful, and one is usually told that it is a complete waste of our time at best, or brutally offensive at worst.

Yet I always enjoyed those brief moments, however few and far between, when a handful of students took a question seriously. I have fond memories of a class where we passionately argued about all sorts of moral conundrums, like the classic old “Trolley Problem”. If you could turn the switch on a rail track, would you do so if that now meant one person had to die, as opposed to doing nothing, which results in many people dying?

One of my students offered an interesting and imaginative alternative, what she called the “Steamroller Problem”. Say that you and a person you intensely dislike are having a heated argument while walking down the street, oblivious to everything about you, only to find that you have both wandered into a sticky pit of newly poured asphalt. A steamroller is quickly coming your way, and the driver has headphones on, unable to hear your cries for help.

Let us say, for the sake of argument, that you have only a moment to act, and you have only enough strength to either pull yourself from the goopy mess, or throw your enemy out of the goopy mess. Make it even more confusing, and realize your nemesis has exactly the same choice. What will your choice be?

Yes, I know, life doesn’t usually happen in such cookie-cutter circumstances, but just imagine that it did. Ignore also the fact that hindsight is 20/20. What is the right thing to do?

How I choose to answer that question is not merely a question of theory, but it goes straight to revealing the very practical principles we hold the most dear.

I know my own answer, but it is hardly my place to tell you your own. Which comes first, your own good, or acting for the good of another, even for someone you despise?

And the Stoic, I would suggest, sees all that as a false dichotomy, an assumption of an either/or, when it should be a both/and. Survival is hardly the issue at all; acting with virtue for oneself, and helping other people act with virtue for themselves, is all that matters.

It doesn’t even revolve around whether one of you dies, or both of you die, because we will all end up dying. What matters is how well both of you live, while you still have the option to live. Do not let what your enemy chooses decide for you, because that is beyond your power; decide upon what is within your own power to choose.

Has your enemy now lived longer? It is of no matter, because he will also die one day. It is, as is so often the case with Stoic living, that the quantity never trumps the quality. It all ends, and it only depends on how it ends.

Where there is life, yes, there is hope. Where there is death, yes, there too is hope. What possible purpose can there be if I complain about what I am able to determine? I can fix that. Likewise, what possible purpose can there be if I complain about what I am not able to determine? It is spilt milk.

Even if my condition means that it must be the end of me, my character can always remain intact. Whatever anyone else may do, or whatever forces may act upon me, my judgments and actions remain my own.

Written in 1/2009