Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 9.34

What are these men's leading principles, and about what kinds of things are they busy, and for what kind of reasons do they love and honor?

Imagine that you see their poor souls laid bare. When they think that they do harm by their blame, or good by their praise, what an idea!

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 9.34 (tr Long)

Many people in this world will try to make you feel small, and they will usually do so because they themselves want to feel big. As difficult as it may seem, do not measure yourself by their standards, but rather look at who they truly are, as is revealed by the character of what they say and what they do. Compare this to the measure of Nature.

You will find that they are not all they make themselves out to be. When they praise themselves in public, you know that you are dealing with arrogant men. When they speak fine words but act with malice, you know that you are dealing with dishonest men. When they continually take and take without any giving anything at all, you know that you are dealing with greedy men.

This becomes all the more apparent when you discern toward what ends they commit most of their time and effort. The fact that they spend so much time in church or at public events should not mislead you, because they do that in their own service, to be revered. Trust the man who does what is good for others, never expecting to be revered.

See them as they are, not as they would wish us to see them. Observe how they try to hurt others with their words and deeds, or shame their enemies, or insist that it is always someone else’s fault. Observe how they lift up their lackeys, or give favors to their supposed friends, but only as long as it remains convenient.

Indeed, what an idea! Consider the self-conceit, and you need consider no more!

Who have I just described to myself? If I have any part in it, I know exactly where the work needs to be done. Justice starts right here at home. When I in turn see this in others, my challenge is not to twist the call of loving them into even more hatred.

There is a certain nastiness in sounding righteous while at the same time being terribly self-righteous. At one point in my past life I became quite a master of that skill, having followed all the wrong folks, and deciding that I would somehow make myself better by being full of piss and vinegar.

No good ever came from it, and no good will now ever come from it. If I spend my time being resentful, and putting down anyone who rubs me the wrong way, I have already laid bare exactly who I am. What I may have called strength was a pathetic weakness, and what I may have called conviction was the most puerile posturing.

Show me what anyone does in his daily life, regardless of his professional persona. There will be found real humanity, in all its successes and failures, stripped of all the illusions. 

Written in 12/2008