Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 9.26

You have endured infinite troubles through not being contented with your ruling faculty, when it does the things that it is constituted by nature to do. But enough of this.

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 9.26 (tr Long)

Unlike many of the trendier philosophies and life hacks, Stoicism has no hidden terms or mysterious conditions attached to it. Its effectiveness can quite easily be put to the test, because what is good or bad in life will follow from our own judgments and choices about what we think is worthy.

There is no requirement to wait for anything else to happen, or to set up a certain situation just so, or to hope for a change in the weather. Since our happiness is something under our control, there is never a need to second-guess ourselves.

In other words, if Stoicism doesn’t seem to be working for me, it’s only because I’m not letting it work, and I am still allowing circumstances to make my decisions for me. Can it be difficult to change my thinking and attitude? It most certainly can, but I can be confident that the only obstacles are right there within my own habits. I can change those habits if I only so choose, if I think it is really important enough to me.

I need to be completely honest with myself, of course, even brutally honest, since I can’t just pretend to change, to give the appearance without the actual commitment. If the decision is made, however, there is absolutely no reason I need to be laid low by anything; it may indeed be painful, but the pain doesn’t have to make or break me.

Another aspect of that honesty is asking myself what the causes of my grief in life have really been. I may try to squirm my way out of it, because it seems easier to blame someone or something else, yet I find, time and time again, that my misery has always been of my own making.

It’s not that I necessarily created the circumstances, even as I was certainly the one who decided they were so critical for me. It should come as no surprise, therefore, that when I didn’t get what I told myself I needed, I would then be heartbroken.

The burdens in my life were only heavy because I gave them weight, and the losses were only unbearable because of what I gave value. If I consider my life to be good only when I act with wisdom and virtue, then no way that I am being acted upon will make my life bad. If I am content with myself, with my power to be my own master, I will be satisfied, seeking nothing beyond myself.

If I’ve had enough of the endless longing, and the uncertainties, and the playing of games, then I can stop caring for all the wrong things. That is only my call, and I can decide at any moment that enough is enough. 

Written in 11/2008