Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 8.39

If you can see precisely, look and judge wisely, says the philosopher.

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 8 (tr Long)

When I look within myself, I shamefully recognize that I have far too often failed at sound thinking, and so I have accordingly also failed at good living. These two must go together, for without clarity of understanding there can be no right purpose in action.

My thinking doesn’t have to involve rocket science, or profound metaphysics, or proceed from any sort of fancy education. It has nothing to do with how smart or gifted I am, but with how thoughtful and careful I am. It’s something like the difference between being intelligent, which I could take or leave, and being considerate, which I can’t live without.

I remain convinced there are really just two things any of us need to have a firm grasp on in order to be happy, and they are hardly concerned with secrets revealed only to the privileged and the elect. First, what is my nature as a human being? Second, what must I be doing in order to fulfill that nature?

Everything, absolutely everything from the most life-changing decisions to the smallest gesture or comment, hinges on how we are going to answer these questions. If my vision is clouded, or my decisions are lazy and careless, I’m going to make quite the mess of it. Trust me, I speak from personal experience.

Who am I? I am a creature of many aspects, one that grows, eats, sleeps, moves, senses, has desires and instincts, and feels pleasure and pain. But most of all, behind all of that, I am a creature capable of knowledge, reflection, and choice. It is the ruling part that gives meaning to the parts that are ruled.

How should I live? To act according to that nature, I must know that my own actions should encourage my own excellence, and the excellence of others, and the excellence of all things, all in their own way. As a being of intellect it is only my wisdom that will make it possible for me to be brave, temperate, and just.

If I am made to know the truth and love the good, let me commit to that. All the rest is quite secondary. I need only ask myself what is within my power to give, and not try to control what I may or may not receive.

Yet in the face of this call to clarity, which is really rather simple and asks for no trimmings or accessories, I can become quite mentally myopic. I choose to look no further than my own passion, and I allow my judgment to surrender to selfish longing. I become a sort of philosophical and moral Alfred E. Neuman: “What, me worry?”

Lazy looking, sloppy thinking, and poor choices come not from stupidity, however, but from thoughtlessness. I have always seen a difference between these two. I should never look down on someone who can’t do something, but I should be quite wary of someone who won’t do something.

Written in 4/2008