Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 8.1

This reflection also tends to the removal of the desire of empty fame, that it is no longer in your power to have lived the whole of your life, or at least your life from your youth upwards, like a philosopher; but both to many others and to yourself it is plain that you are far from philosophy.

You have fallen into disorder then, so that it is no longer easy for you to get the reputation of a philosopher; and your plan of life also opposes it. If then you have truly seen where the matter lies, throw away the thought, how you shall seem to others, and be content if you shall live the rest of your life in such a manner as your nature wills.

Observe then what it wills, and let nothing else distract you. For you have had experience of many wanderings without having found happiness anywhere—not in syllogisms, nor in wealth, nor in reputation, nor in enjoyment, nor anywhere.

Where is it then? In doing what man's nature requires. How then shall a man do this? If he has principles from which come his affects and his acts. What principles? Those that relate to good and bad, the belief that there is nothing good for man which does not make him just, temperate, manly, and free, and that there is nothing bad that does not do the contrary to what has been mentioned.

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 8 (tr Long)

Philosophy can mean very different things to different people. To those completely unfamiliar with it, it takes on the quality of an extravagant luxury, a decadent pastime pursued by those who have their heads in the clouds, or who are simply too smart for their own good. In this light, I have often heard philosophy described as “a complete waste of time.”

Even among those who are acquainted with the study of philosophy, I have come across two very different attitudes, and I have found that they stand in sharp contrast to one another. For some, philosophy is a career, an intellectual profession pursued by the rules of a completely closed system, and directed toward building one’s standing in the eyes of one’s peers. For others, philosophy is a way of living, regardless of qualifications or status, and directed toward the improvement of the soul. It is the difference between being seen as a philosopher, and seeing the life of the philosopher as a way of being.

With Marcus Aurelius, I wonder how fame and reputation, looking toward how we seem to others, could really have anything to do with genuine philosophy. Let me not confuse appearance and reality, and let me remember that as soon as I choose to care for one over the other, I have committed myself to one over the other.

A fellow I knew, a philosopher in spirit if not in name, once asked me if I would prefer to be thought of as a smart man, or as a good man. I told him I’d like to be considered good.

“Hmmm. Now take it a step further. What if no one even thought about you as being good, or remembered you as being good? Would you still want to be good regardless? Or would you just stop caring?”

There’s the real distinction that matters. If I’ve been around this world long enough, I will surely see that the circumstances of our lives don’t always work out as we would have wanted them. I will also see that I have made many mistakes, and that I am not all that I would have wished to be. I will also see that playing intellectual games, or running after money, or looking important, or wallowing in pleasure will never make me happy. These are things that aren’t really about me at all.

So what remains? To be human above all else, before I try to call myself a philosopher, or a rich man, or a respected man, or a gratified man. This means looking beyond the trappings and accessories of life, and following my nature, pure and simple. I am made to know what is true, and to love what is good, and to therefore live in accord with wisdom and virtue.

Something is only good for me if it helps me in living well, and only bad for me if it hinders me in living well. Have I ruled myself with courage and self-control, and have I treated my neighbor with the respect and decency he deserves? The rest doesn’t really matter.

If I can overcome the powerful urge to appear right, and instead choose to be right, I am moving closer to real freedom. Fame is a vanity I cannot afford. 

Written in 1/2008